Tag Archives: mom

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Obviously. Duh.

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Categories: General, Tags: ,

My cousin John called this morning to say he was done making my bow and would mail it this week. I was then telling my mom about it.

Me: So I’m going to need some kind of target for the backyard.

Mom: Like a hay bale?

Me: Well, but a hay bale is short. What am I practicing for there? Bunnies? I’m not going to be shooting bunnies.

Mom: …What are you going to be shooting?

Me: People. Obviously. Duh.

Mom: …

Me: You know, in the apocalypse when there’s zombies. Or people trying to steal my stuff*.

Mom: I don’t think your arrows are going to be much good against zombies.

Me: Of course they are. I just have to get really good and nail it in the eye so it reaches the brain.

Mom: …

Me: This is common sense, Mom.

Mom: You’ve put too much thought into this.

Me: Sheesh. Obviously someone has to.

* People stealing my stuff is a real fear.

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Conversation with my Mother

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Me: It’s an hour and a half drive from Pahrump to Death Valley.

Mom: And there’s nothing to do there.

Me: I could visit the whore-houses.

Mom: You could learn a new profession and make more money at it.

Me: Please, mother. I already know how to be a whore. I’m female.

It’s possible discussing WITH MY MOTHER whether or not to take a job in Death Valley is not the best course.

1. She’s kind of a homebody and reinforces my tendency in that direction.

2. She thinks I should get a job in a brothel.