Tag Archives: vacations

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Backscatter BOO

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Categories: General, Tags: ,

My terror of the backscatter machine made me demand a pat-down. Though my terror of the pat-down made me a little too over-share.

Me: I don’t want to go in that. I want a pat-down.

TSA Agent 1 (male): Uh. Ok. Wait there. We need a female pat-down! Code 3-4!

I wait a while.

TSA Agent 2 (male): Do we have any female agents on call?

TSA Agent 1: CODE 3-4!

I wait a while. A lady shows up! She tells me what she’s going to do and how she will use the backs of her hands in my crotch area.

Me: Ok. I want to tell you that I’m having my period so I’m wearing a pad in case you feel it and if you want to go somewhere else if I need to take off my clothes to show you, just tell me.

TSA Agent 3 (female!): Uh, that’s ok.

Me: No seriously, I will fully show you my menstrual blood.

TSA Agent 3: I’m good.

Me: Are you sure? Well if you change your mind. I can show you. It’s no problem.

I think she was glad to see me go. And I have to say, if that’s all the pat-down is I am ALWAYS asking for it. Fuck the backscatter x-ray. That shit is huge and scary looking. I didn’t even want to stand NEXT to it.

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taking it to the creek

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Categories: General, Tags: , ,

some good and bad points of vacationing in oregon.

pro:

7 nights at $170 per person

con:

having to share a room with my mother

pro:

getting to stay in an amazing house

con:

hitting head on abalone shell shelf in shower THREE TIMES

pro:

spending time with family

con:

having 14 year old cousin discover i’m 30 and mock me for it

pro:

pictures!

con:

breaking my camera the 2nd day there

pro:

cake and ice cream for breakfast. the best pro of all.