last night hanging out in the city with the “rice,” she and her jason we’re telling the rest of us a story about this kid named brian who fancies himself a wine connoisseur. apparently he goes around talking about wine constantly and very pompously and (shock) bought a wine rack. one story involved him knowledgeably relaying the breathing needs of a good bottle of red. white wine having less surface area (note unfounded fact here) than red doesn’t need to breathe. but red wine should be uncorked prior to drinking and allowed a little space to clear the lungs.
this story reminded me of the christmas that i spent in london in 1998. my father spent most of the morning convincing whitlow that the can of cranberry spherical jell-o thing needed to be opened a good thirty minutes before dinner was served so that it could take in sufficient air to be edible. whitlow fell for this. but then proceeded to forget the crucial task when the time was upon him. so we all sat down to dinner. and my father let out a bellow about the missing ingredient of the spread. whitlow immediately panicked and apologized profusely and felt awful about spoiling the entire proceeding due to the grossly out of breath cranberry blob. the rest of us, unaware that such wacky falsehoods were being propagated on this day of our lord and savior were a trifle confused. but once the situation was explained we laughed like hyenas at the dumb wit of our friend whitlow. and then we exploded all our crackers and wore our paper crowns and had a jolly pudding. good times.
HA!
whitlow is such an idiot. in the french pronunciation.
i had no idea your dad was such a liar like me. my respect only increases i tell you.
oh yes. a liar pants and a half he was. he got a sick thrill from watching people run around like half dead chickens after he convinced them of something. night of the living dead chicken i tell you. a constant zoo in the household. plus all those cats.
man. i’m sorry i never got a chance to test myself against him.
eh. he always liked you anyway.
yeah but the whole war of the liars thing…sort of epic. i guess this is where you get your cheating skills.
hmm possibly. i think it had something to do with honing my skills against a lot of drunk middle-aged card sharks as a 10 year old though.
ummm i ran into your website by a freak accident…
freak accident in this case refers to “mary kate and ashley olsen”. someone send me a fake cnn report saying that they are attending Purdue University, which is where i am going. After 20 minutes of soul searching and refusing to believe the information, someone took pity on my sanity and told me about the fake cnn report.
http://66.111.43.11/reports/2003/WORLD/0194/5885084.html
so by chance, i deicde to type in “fake cnn reports” on google (with the quotations) to see if there are more cool fake reports like that out there. the only link poped up is a link to your webpage “Sushi: overextended michele”
http://www.cementhorizon.com/sushi/archives/000432.html
i was a bit freaked at the moment, because my webname is sushi2807. The coincidence seems so improbable and the situtation so bizarre that i decided to leave a message. Plus, seeing that you have a ficination with mary kate and ashley olsen i thought you might like to see the fake cnn article.
well, hope my little eposide in life made your life more interesting. because your website certainly brought a smile to my face =)
ha ha ha! that’s amazing. are you sure that’s a fake cnn report? incredible. fake cnn reports are fascinating. i wonder where they are going to school….i wonder if they would really both go to the same school. i was best friends with a twin and she and her brother went to different schools but than she transferred to be at the same school. so i wonder if maybe they can’t be too far away. then again i know other twins living in different states. so who knows.
anyway if you ever come back here: thank you so much for the story, for commenting and the compliment. =)