June 10, 2004 by

the girl next door

3 comments

Categories: Movie Reviews

(metreon, by self, 4/17/04, 3:40pm)

it’s high school porn! brilliant (in the british intonation)! with homophobic undertones voiced by the dood from joan of arcadia who calls joan, ‘jane’! less than brilliant!

i admit to liking this movie. at the same time i was kind of horrified by how much it bashed “fags”.

“the beach is for fags.” -eli

“you know what? you guys are fags.” -matt

“it’s a cool ride, huh?” -kelly (male)

“yeah, if you’re a fag.” -jocks

____________________________________________

“eli, i like this girl!” -matt

“and you can still like her with your penis inside of her.” -eli

oh man, was it ever that sort of movie. that kind where high school boys swear, watch porn, and only think about sex, EVER. except this one guy who *likes* the girl, gets good grades, and never puts a toe out of line. except in this movie when he puts the toe over, follows it with his penis, and then falls in the pool with all his clothes on. ah the old adage about growing up and the adventures along the way wherein you fall in love with porn stars, make a porn video, and fuck with pinp porn executives. it’s just like my life, i can totally relate. all right, now i’m being sarcastic.

honestly though, i do kind of have a soft spot in my heart for movies about gutter-minded high school boys. why is that? i think it’s just because i have a crush on my memories of all the boys i knew in high school and how i was pretty much like them. and still sort of am. except for the fag-bashing. cause i don’t truck with that stuff.

“shut the fuck up. next question. faster!” -eli

and they all live happily ever after.

3 Responses to the girl next door

  1. gene

    Mich, this entry is going to get more traffic than anything ever written on CH. gutter-minded high school boys. porn stars. high school porn.

    sigh.

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