the raccoons have declared a full scale attack. they are now living underneath the house and actively trying to claw their way through the floor. apparently coming in the window is no longer good enough for them. there was much arguing and browbeating of the raccoon army peons by the captain last night in the form of high-pitched squealing–these raccoons totally believe in corporeal punishment. i am, as yet, unclear on what location in the house they will break through first. my suspicion is either the living room (perhaps they smell the ferrets and want to eat them first) or the guest bedroom (the weakest part of the floor as it’s where the entrance to the crawlspace is located). we need to man these stations and prepare for the attack. those commie bastards aren’t taking over my house on my watch.

thank god i’m house/dog-sitting in orinda this week. they’ll just have to eat mom.