Categotry Archives: General

it’s gotten to the point where as soon as the plane leaves the ground i have to keep my eyes squeezed tight, clutch my arms, and remind myself to breathe. a half hour in i start to whimper and panic and keep checking my watch to see how much longer it’s going to be. i live 5 minutes at a time on a plane because the idea that it’s going to be even another 15 munutes before another 10 minutes before another before another before we land is too much for me. this is pretty pathetic on a 70 minute flight from vegas. i can’t even fathom what it will be like flying to greece as i’ve honestly gotten much, much worse at flying since my last trip across the pacific. i came back from that one with war wounds in the form of gigantic hand shaped bruises on my upper arms. maybe i’ll draw blood over the atlantic. or maybe, as i keep telling myself, i’ll take lots and lots of sleep-inducing drugs.

pictures from vegas here.

pictures i took while katherine (my cousin john’s wife) was visiting last week here.

pictures katherine took while visiting here.

UPDATE: Katherine’s photos have now been uploaded to eloise as they are no longer on her page. I’ve changed the links to reflect this.

i just got an email from someone at the art institute of washington that says this:

“Dear Michele,

We are asking permission to reprint some of your webpages and have live link to your website during our show? Email acknowledgment will suffice. All credit will go to you. Please call with any questions or concerns.

-Ivonne”

what? who? which? woman!

Once upon a time there was a young BETEL NUT WHORE named MARINA. She was BRISKLY walking in the WISPY forest when she met NARCOLEPTIC GENE, a run-away LAYABOUT WASTRAL from the SLENDER Queen KRISTEN.

MARINA could see that NARCOLEPTIC GENE was hungry so she reached into her CUNT and gave him her OSTENTATIOUS SUSHI. NARCOLEPTIC GENE was thankful for MARINA‘s SUSHI, so he told MARINA a very ASININE story about Queen KRISTEN‘s daughter MICHELE. How her mother, the SLENDER Queen KRISTEN, kept her locked away in a HERMITAGE protected by a gigantic BENGAL TIGER, because MICHELE was so LIMPID.

MARINA RECANTED. She vowed to NARCOLEPTIC GENE the LAYABOUT WASTRAL that she would save the LIMPID MICHELE. She would ABSOLVE the BENGAL TIGER, and take MICHELE far away from her evil mother, the SLENDER Queen KRISTEN, and SWOON her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a SLIMY MONSOON and NARCOLEPTIC GENE the LAYABOUT WASTRAL began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic BENGAL TIGER from his story. SLENDER Queen KRISTEN SOARED out from behind a PAIR OF PANTIES and struck MARINA dead. In the far off HERMITAGE you could hear a FART.

THE END.

to do your own, go here.

it’s kind of lame though and i had to change numerous spelling errors to make it scan. heh. and also it’s still kind of lame. but i enjoyed the fact that kristen got to be slender, i got to be limpid, and marina got to be a dead whore.

on monday my friend lawrence wore a wool, button-up cardigan with beavers all over it to class.

i laughed fit to bust, but couldn’t explain to him why.

it is international woman’s month, which could excuse my logic. but cannot excuse my politics teacher saying the word ‘vagina’ so many times last night.

nor can it excuse his repeated stories about abuse in the phillipines under the marcos regime where he goes off on how his friends used to get their “testicles electrocuted” and his female friends were “forced to get naked and sit on blocks of ice in front of generals”. while he, on the other hand, was the grandson of a colonel and was always let go instead of being punished for throwing molotov cocktails thru the windows at the US embassy. is it really demonstrating if you know your testes are safe?

my vagina looks nothing like that.

i sit upon my throne so cold and lonely

i sit upon my throne and cast stones

into the river

i sit upon my throne until someone comes

i sit upon my throne till budged

into the river

“i am the king of the rock! of this rock i am the king!”

this weekend, i went to boulder, colorado to present a paper on banana yoshimoto. i stayed with john and katherine (my cousins) and had a lovely time getting lost, being sick, and dancing on rocks in the middle of frozen streams.

the presentation part was fine to all those who have asked. i talked too fast and was the only person on the panel to not read their entire paper directly from the pages. it was surreal.

on sunday we went to rocky mountain national park which makes up the bulk of my pictures from this trip. it was cold and lovely. i adapted Butt Dancing For Children into Butt Dancing For Crowns on top of my very own rock. this statement makes more sense if you watch the video. i don’t think katherine was quite expecting the rabid disregard i displayed towards decent behavior when i handed her the camera and asked her to film me. which is silly since i know she saw the cattle guard video and probably the mountain lion one.

RAWR, good times.

other fave pictures from this weekend:

katherine and rachel on the boulder campus

mostly frozen river and mountains

katherine and rachel in the park

me and rachel in the park

katherine and i sitting on the bridge

snowy , boulder-filled river for climbing on

katherine, rachel, and i at lily lake

john and i at lily lake

st. catherine of siena stained glass window at the church of same

church

katherine is cute

mini-rapids

john climbs rocks

i climb trees

lovely landscape (katherine took this one)

me contemplating being rapunzel at the church

me taking pictures of the mini-rapids

just in case anyone is bored out there and wants to sweetly help me: Download file

here is my powerpoint presentation for the conference i am going to tomorrow. you could say to me things like: ‘michele, that color is bad!’ or ‘michele, you have horrible spelling!’ things like that. and in addition you can maybe glean some information and escalate your own knowledge about banana yoshimoto, noh, and androgynous incest.

kristen retained information about the children’s crusade thanks to me and the artbook i did senior year of high school and managed to jump her teacher on the punchline yesterday: ‘they’re all sold into slavery! silly children, crusades aren’t for midgets.’ so here’s your chance to learn something valuable from me and jump a teacher in a hallway: ‘silly teacher, you need to be de-phallicized.’

this will be a many parted entry. be forewarned.

lately i have been spending time staring in the mirror attempting to copy the japanese adoption and transfiguration of pursed lips. it’s impossible. they do something with the bottom lip which makes it go in and …in. like in sideways and then in under the top while at the same time the top lip doesn’t seem to move at all. impossible i tell you. and yet i persist in doing it. if every single one of those damn girls can do it on live action sailor moon, why can’t i? cursed show. is there some wretched muscle that only japanese girls have that makes it possible to scrunch the lower lip horizantally? i don’t understand.

more importantly, i don’t understand how it is that i’ve become addicted to live action sailor moon to the point where i have now watched 21 episodes in the last 48 hours. you know what this means? 28 to go, that’s what it means. tuxedo kamen-sama!

why am i watching live action sailor moon? pure escapism. because in TWO DAYS i’m flying to colorado to present my paper on ‘literary tropes and familial incest in banana yoshimoto’s kitchen‘. and i’m terrified. with good reason. 1) i have to get on a plane and 2) i have to talk in public. i’m finding it hard to look past those two things to the fun that will be inherent in hanging out with john and katherine, my most favorite married couple in the world. i don’t think i really know too many other married people, so possibly this is not the compliment i mean it to be.

though not married, they did recently celebrate the first birthday of their delightfully adorable kid (photos here). jason and i went to mickey and ellie’s house to watch tyler tug at his own hair out of sheer grumpy sleepyness. also there was j. lilja from high school. with whom i shared a moment of pure shame as he asked me if i was looking forward to serenity and i attempted to cover for my lame avoidance of him at wondercon by asking if he had been there too. i suppose that shame wasn’t really ‘shared’ per se. he had nothing to feel bad about. it was kristen and me being horridly anti-social and terrified of talking to him and s. mcguire (at seperate times–they were not together.) i’m such a recluse. (i couldn’t help that link. jason is too adorable).

in order to rectify this, is anyone interested in any of the upcoming international asian american film festival showings? i need to see monkey dance (3/12, 5pm, kabuki) and people of angkor (3/13, 2:30pm, kabuki) for a paper i have to do. i want to see cutie honey (3/12, 9:15pm, castro), house of flying pancakes (3/11, 9:15pm, kabuki), turtles can fly (3/13, 6pm, pacific film archive in berkeley), butterfly (3/13, 12pm, castro), dumplings (3/13, 9:45pm, castro), and slow jam king (3/12, 9:30pm, kabuki). some of those have conflicting times though. anyone? anyone? i can tell you that i’ve seen the first five minutes of cutie honey and it is pretty incredible cheesy goodness.