Categotry Archives: General

down on the lower campus, little chitlins are wandering around. their little faces are filled with the embarrassment that only trying to pretend maturity while being followed around by parents can produce. they’ve got stuffed folders and empty wallets, but big happy grins. and i am looking at them to see where the cheese is hidden, because surely these little chitlins must be cheesy, yes? full of brie, i think, or maybe cheddar. not everyone can be french, after all. once upon a time, though, there was a prince here. but he graduated in the spring, i hear, and his father was a king without a country living on sufferance in england anyway. much like the suffragettes. well, honestly, nothing alike. but if you could imagine 80’s hair and leg warmers and striped ensembles with large plastic pink earrings, then the rockettes could be aliens with butt implants and probes of subliminal intelligence. i am curious about this prince mostly and less about the chitlins now. because royalty is not necessarily more interesting than the wandering little baa lambs below, but it is by definition more. (perhaps of cheese?) i wish i had met him. or seen him, wandering around with the expression only being followed by a king can produce.

this weekend i also went camping. with a house. and a shower. and my laptop. plus a lot of games involving small rackets , balls, or horseshoes. and an overabundance of food. and then i went swimming with huge goldfish and their poo. and my brother shotgunned beers with 15 year olds. my cousin lacey called me ‘nasty’ (due to the tattoos and piercings). i bonded with a girl named ashley over braces. we discussed movies with a 10 year old named alex, (getting him in trouble with his mother who hadn’t known some of the movies he had seen.) i played the worst game of horseshoes with my mother that the world has ever seen. and i cheered triumphantly when james got 41 points at scrabble with the word ‘vex’.

i took entirely too many pictures with my brand new digital camera, (including some of my brother’s newest tattoo.)

the librarian’s young son (i think 5th grade) is here for the afternoon in the library and he has been set up on a computer to play some sort of shooting game with many robotic cries similar to ‘shazbot!’ and ‘all your bases belong to us!’ i’m finding it difficult not to laugh out loud and cannot wait till the austrailan comes back from lunch. admittedly the austrailian is pretty deaf and must not have a sense of smell or he’d have noticed how much he needs deodorant, so maybe the addition of a small, cute, half-hawaiian boy to the library will go unnoticed by him. unfortunately the french father is not here today to multiply this experience with delightful amounts of fun.

in april my aunt mary and i discussed boyfriends. it’s something we’re prone to do now that two of the cousins have gotten married. in fact, the last time we chatted the topic up was due to the second wedding of the cousins. perhaps some of you remember that uproar and basic loss of sound mind i suffered the first time one of my cousins got engaged? well, the reason you heard next to nothing about this second one is because it’s bizarre, scandalous, and doesn’t threaten my self-worth in any way.*

here are snippets of the convo

me: i’ve decided since john got married first and is oldest, and now neal is getting married and is 3rd oldest, next to be married will have to be james since he is 5th oldest. and then lacey. i then became very sad because this theory meant that someone who is 9 is going to get married before me. but then i tried to convince myself that i didn’t want to get married anyway. but, you know, a boyfriend would be nice.

mary: If you do decide to get a boyfriend, let me know. Maybe I’ll try one out too. Could be interesting, or at least a change of pace. But what if it turns out to be annoying? I believe I should think about this a bit more…don’t want to rush into anything.

me: mary, if you’re going to go around getting all sorts of piercings and maybe tattoos, you might as well experiment with a boyfriend too. from the aforementioned forays into tattoo parlors and the like, perhaps you should get a harley boyfriend. yes. you could wear leather and gun around the rural highways of oregon on the back of his hog. make sure you buy one of those leather jackets or vest with the fringe. the fringe element is key i think for visual impact when going really fast on a motorcycle. and if he/it does become annoying, you can always dump his zen motorcycle mind self. bah. be casual and cruel and don’t get attached! (unless you want to) i, also, will start hanging out in biker bars in san francisco. this will inevitably mean a lot of gay middle aged to old men in leather and i will achieve zero success. damn you men who wear leather shorts and spank each others asses! sigh.

this last week my mom sent aunt mary and myself a link to a house we’re considering renting for the coming christmas family together time. i replied with a query about whether i could sleep outside in a tent rather than stay in the same house with the entire family. you have to understand that the last few years we’ve rented two houses next door to one another which basically makes my life easier in that there’s an escape house from the majority of them for quiet time. this house on the oregon coast is just one house. one house with not enough bedrooms.

my mom replied with the following:

Mary said to remind you that the two of you are bringing your “hot, biker dudes” to Christmas and you’ll be too busy to be worried about the lack of bedrooms. Though I don’t think that works actually. Seems you would be more worried about the lack of bedrooms.

at which point i fell over laughing.

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miss universe played as a scrimmage is the best game ever.

alcatraz gets my vote for best fluffies.

earlier the classical radio station was playing a french christmas song, which french father started singing to me in french about the king who would come again for me. then french father told me about his austrian friend who came to mass with him and afterwards said that one of the hymns was to the tune of an austrian drinking song. also then that the edellweiss tune in the sound of music is used as a hymn in chinese catholic services.

i am learning a lot about church thievery of musical scores (a friar in the dead of night running off with a sheaf of music notes!) and the austrian irreverence for catholicism (‘we’ll drink and drink and drink and fight and if i see a pretty girl, i’ll sleep with her tonight!’ with a rubber. and if she gets pregnant anyway, we’ll get an abortion!). in conclusion, jacob should dump dianna and date me. thank you and have a nice weekend.

the other day i argued with jason and jolie about san francisco being a small city. their conjecture was the inter-connectedness of everyone they know. i countered with the theory that to them the clubbing/bar-hopping gay community might be small but that doesn’t make san francisco small. after all, gay is not the whole city (current weekend of pride aside).

today however i realized that the asian boy with the motorcycle helmet who is frequently to be found sitting in my library is the same one who i often see driving past me in the morning on his bike when i am walking to the bus stop up the street.

which is not to say that the richmond district or USF are the whole city. but perhaps i need to give more credence to this small city theory. or at least the group dynamics which make it up.