Categotry Archives: Movie Reviews

drivel. occasionally entertaining. but mainly due to the supporting characters. that’s really all i have to say about it.

oh wait i did have some more to say. the thing i’ve been wondering about lately is that if the movie industry goes through cycles that reflect the political and social happenings in the U.S. what does it mean that one of the major outputs lately has been romantic comedies set in new york and the surrounding area? are they trying to inundate us with sappy cheese in order to erase the reality of 9/11 or something? it’s just that there’s this, maid in manhattan, two weeks notice, the guru– any more? it’s a fascinating contradiction in my opinion and i’m just curious as to whether it’s premeditated or not.

jackIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE chAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOween wIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLsoNNNNNN!!!

although the constant historical references could be annoying (charlie chaplin? you don’t say! sherlock holmes? fascinating! knighting authur conan doyle and calling him arty? well i’ll be!) the fight scenes were sweet! jackie chan i love you! i can’t even begin to list all the cool kicking and punching and absurd background music, but some of my faves are: the umbrella fight scene and the umbrella dance to the music from singing in the rain with the cute little poses. and the sword fighting one and the hotel revolving door one. and the dunking owen wilson in the water one. and the chinese actress playing his sister kicked some fine booty too.

mindless (seriously) action movie. fun if you like either of the main two actors. or if your brain is the size of a turkey’s. and the evil english guy is hot! (i throw that in there as a girl and as a bone to girls who are dragged to this movie by boys.)

ha ha ha! owen wilson stunt double in the background there. cause he don’t do his own apparently.

this movie was kind of not what i was expecting. having seen the trailers, read the book, and been very, very excited i was a little let-down by george clooney’s directorial ambitions. he’s not a very good editor. basically the thing that was wrong with this movie was the little snippet conversations with the “real” people. totally unecessary. it was obvious that he was trying to provide the movie with validity as the opening little announcement of, “this movie is based on the true journals and tapes and so on of chuck barris” kick-started the whole debacle. but it didn’t need to be pummeled like that. the “interview” scenes did nothing to advance the overall production value. they were just wasted space.

on the other hand, sam rockwell was amazing. and good old george’s death scene was visually mesmerizing though also slightly mystifying. and completely at odds with how byrd dies in the book. which leads me to the other point. the diversions from barris’ own autobiography were astounding. now i know that he wrote more books and that they could have been drawing on other sources of information that i know nothing about but still. STILL. so many things completely different. fucking amazing.

but it’s good. it’s interesting. i’d really recommend the book too though because it was a fantastic read.

this movie is basically silly fluff. but the flashy costumes are nice. and the singing and dancing. and the pornography film-making. but heather graham cannot act. do not be deceived by her sexy body. she is a horrible actress. HORRIBLE. i cannot stress this enough.

one of the nice transitions in the movie went from when ramu is leaving india and arrives in america. india=color, life, elephants in the street! new york=really, really grey. it was a good juxtaposition. it was really the only interesting facet to the cinematography.

it could have used more singing. it could have used more dancing. but what are you going to do. it was still fun. and funny. even without the dancing indian turkeys.

fyi for anyone who cares (me. erica. nuala. kristen. jolie.)

New Buffy episodes all February long!

Tuesday, February 4, 8PM ET/PT:

“The Killer in Me”

When Willow starts to give in to romantic feelings for Kennedy, (eeeee!) her guilty conscience causes her to turn into Warren, Tara’s killer. (oooo….) Also, the gang gets clues that lead them to believe Giles may be The First, (see! i bet he did get killed!) and Buffy helps Spike with what seems to be his malfunctioning chip, ultimately leaving Buffy with a shocking choice.

Tuesday, February 11, 8PM ET/PT:

“First Date”

Buffy goes on a date with Principal Wood, (ahhhh!!! dating the black man! who called it?!) while Xander goes on date with an enigmatic woman. Multi-Grammy nominee Ashanti guest stars.

honestly. i would never call myself a fan of the mid-west expose on lower middle class america. in, let me stress it again, the MID-WEST. doldrums are boring. motor homes are passe. i think you get my point. however, other than the typically slow pace and close revelations of what it means to be retired, middle class, white american male, the movie has some stunning good points.

1) kathy bates. naked. in a hot tub. i am giving that secret away right here and now. you have not LIVED till you see an old, unattractive, sagging boobs actress bare it all for the camera. right there in front of you. larger than life. and with the potential of water buoyancy. i was aghast. but in a good way. a way that screamed internally, “right on, sista!” fight back against the anemic naked models. fuck ’em anyway.

2) ndugu. the first letter-sheer brilliance. the second letter-still good. the third letter-wearing a trifle thin. the fourth letter-shit, give it a rest already, willya? see, jack nicholson’s character adopts this african boy named ndugu, who draws him pictures and benefits from the $22 a month or whatever it is. and in return schmidt writes him these horrific letters detailing all his petty and personal miseries. hates his wife. hates his daughter’s fiancee. loves his daughter. still a part of his job (lie). his wife died. he’s going to stop the wedding. he “found” himself. and so on. and then because of this letter he gets from the sister of mercy on behalf of ndugu, his life suddenly acquires meaning. even though all along he has been nothing more than a poor sap who can’t even make a fucking sandwich for himself or do his laundry. and who tried to ruin his daughter’s only happiness. and never appreciated his wife. right. but $22/month makes his life have meaning because SOMEONE is going to remember him when he dies. and that someone is an african kid with lice and plentiful diseases on the other side of the globe who probably doesn’t even read the letters or know anything about it. riiiiiiight. perhaps my common sense and bitter cynicism is cutting a little too deeply into the awe-inspiring life changing moment they were trying to convey. but no no i think really they were trying to be ironic themselves but failed miserably.

3) the high point of this movie is in the details. little things. like how schmidt always sleeps with one leg outside the covers, trapping them down on top of the other leg. and how his coat sleeves were always too big for him, making him look continually awkward and childish in his own clothing. the speech patterns of dermot mulroney as the daughter’s fiancee. and his ponytail. oh lordy. plus schmidt’s walk. feet pointed outwards and slightly to the side. verra verra slowly. with the equally too big pants.

i don’t think i really recommend this movie. unless, like jason who i saw it with, you LIKE mid-west irony-dramas. in which case–wholewhearted approval of you seeing this movie is what i’ve got. but if you’re more like me…eh….see ummm…maybe some mary kate and ashley olsen action. shut up! it’s a sickness!

“Singing sensation Charlotte Church has landed her first film role – loosely based on actress Liv Tyler’s teenage life.

The Welsh diva, 16, will star in a comedy musical The Family Business, where a musically talented girl discovers her real father is a has-been eighties pop star.

Comedian Craig Ferguson who will play Church’s father in the movie, says he wrote it with the Voice of an Angel songstress in mind.

The plot is said to be loosely based on the real-life story of the stunning Lord of the Rings star – who discovered her father was Aerosmith frontman Steve Tyler, after being brought up to believe it was rocker Todd Rungren.”

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo………..i don’t think this can be as “good” as mandy (ass)moore’s trip to movieland in “a walk to remember.”

“Buffy Faces Axe

Press Association

TV bosses plan to kill off cult show Buffy the Vampire Slayer following lacklustre ratings.

American station CBS says the long-running series, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, is not expected to return for an eighth run.

“I wouldn’t bet that it comes back,” network chief Leslie Moonves told the Hollywood Reporter.

Gellar, who is married to her Scooby-Doo co-star Freddie Prinze Jr, is said to want to concentrate on her film career.

But Mr Moonves said the 25-year-old actress still “hasn’t said no” to reprising her role as the vampire killer.

There may also be a spin-off series featuring some of the other Buffy characters, he said.”

another spin off? holy shit don’t do this to us, joss whedon you two-timing bastard. and kill off dawn! argh!

“Angel Star Pregnant

World Entertainment News Network

Charisma Carpenter is to have a baby – and her on-screen character will follow suit.

The Angel actress is due to give birth in March, though she kept the secret – and her shot gun wedding to Damien Hardy – from television bosses. Now they have been forced to re-write the script, incorporating a naughty night of nookie for Cordelia with Angel’s teenage son Connor.

She says, “I am due to film on through March but I don’t know if I will be able to… my waters might break on set! So far they have been camouflaging my condition by putting me in long coats.”

you’ve got to be shitting me. that’s the reason for the shit they pulled last episode? these people. dude, they are fucking with my will to continue watching.