« ultraviolet | Main | the hills have eyes »
March 09, 2006
mmm, breasts
i suppose that we all have our own particular niches to fill on cementhorizon. kristen lies beautifully, dianna's in school, sean analyzes sports, jason goes to mexico, robyn hugs hobbits. my role appears to be giving explicit details about the inner workings of my girly bits.
i went to john muir medical imaging lab today to get my chest looked at. lying there in the hospital gown that ties at the back, i waited, polite smile affixed, as they spread goopy stuff all over my right breast and attacked it with a sonic-imaging device. theoretically in this position one might be worried about the outcome or questioning their life choices. i was wondering what to do with my left hand (right arm went behind the head, but what to do with the left? what?), trying to stay awake (it was really warm in there and i was lying down), and contemplating the male equivalent of this procedure (balls).
what kind of hospital gown do boys get? do they get goopy stuff spread on them? does coughing come into the equation? why do we hear so much about the girl tests and nothing about the boy tests on CH? aren't any of you ever sick?
happily i'm not actually sick. nor is nuala. we are healthy breasted girls.
Posted by michele at March 9, 2006 03:54 PM
Comments
Congratulations to you and your breasts. I think everyone gets the same kind of hospital gown. I have more answers for you, but I rarely go to the doctor and maybe I should just write a whole post about the experience.
Posted by: sean at March 9, 2006 04:47 PM
i’m glad your boobs are ok. and i’m glad sean is transitioning from sports-themed posts to balls-themed posts. balls to balls. as it were. ahem.
Posted by: didofoot at March 9, 2006 05:17 PM
I’ve only had the ball test once and it was from my pediatrician that had been treating me my whole life so it didn’t seem that weird. I haven’t had a physical since then and that was almost 10 years ago. Honestly though, I don’t really see the need for the ball test. If my intestines have leaked into my ball sack…I’m pretty sure I’ll realize it on my own.
Posted by: docta v at March 9, 2006 06:44 PM
That’s gross docta v. - totally gross. I don’t thing breast sonograms are very reliable because the resolution isn’t very good and it really depends on the quality and dedication of the operator. I recently got one done too, but the ho refused to believe a girl my age could possibly have a breast issue, insisted the thing my doctor’s referal asked her to check out was “just a rib” (although she’s not even an RN), suggested that perhaps I hadn’t noticed it before because I’d “obviously recently lost weight” and refused to actually run the little wand thing over the area my doctor had requested. Shockingly, my “results” were negative but I think I’ll just wait until I have non-UC health insurance so I can see a specialist rather than some barely qualified meanie that only succeeds in making me feel like an obviously hald-naked piece of lean meat on a cold table. That’s not to say your good news isn’t the right news because I’m sure your lady was much less mean-spirted than mine. Congrats :)
Posted by: Kristina at March 9, 2006 07:07 PM
wow. your woman sucks. also, a rib is sooooo not a breast. what a dumbass. mine (i had two look at it) were totally nice and told me all about breasts and ligaments, giving a totally credible explanation for the problem area.
Posted by: michele at March 9, 2006 07:12 PM
You know, a Tang Center doctor once told me the lump I found in my sack was just a rib, too. Maybe I ought to have that checked out…
Posted by: sean at March 9, 2006 08:16 PM
Posted by: BD at March 10, 2006 10:25 AM