Categotry Archives: General

oh my god. so i just wrote this huge entry and it actually deleted the whole thing. what the hell is wrong with this thing? well (sigh) let me repeat myself. endlessly into infinity. with unicorns cresting the waves. why? why not. right on, the last unicorn. right on.

so the reason i have even pulled my act together today of all days to write an entry is because of the several (two) good things that have happened already this morning. and then the one thing which i have been meaning to write about and haven’t yet done so. until today. and the fact that since all previous entried were erased i felt the need to repeat the brillinance that was “i’m done and i’ll fortify” at the end of this ranty entry.

1) the cute boy who doesn’t know how to use the fax machine said good morning to me as i was coming up the stairs! good morning! he practically tipped his non-existant cowboy hat. ha ha ha!! i should have offered him one of my red vines. i bet he would have liked to have on of my red vines. if you know what i mean. and speaking of red vines….

2) i went down to the candy machine for a mid-morning snackiness and the machine had obviously defeated and deflated some poor soul who wanted red vines. cause it was stuck in an almost ready to drop position. and i was like, hmmm i could have some red vines and i put my money in and selected it and TWO bags fell out. TWO fer fuck’s sake. how exciting is that? pretty exciting let me tell you.

3) my boss is creating an oedipal conflict in her son the size of the former soviet union 9or at any rate what’s his name’s birthmark.) she goes on and on about how adorable he is, and how many kisses they give one another, and how soft his skin is and how good he smells, and (this is the kicker) he likes to sleep in her bed. and she says to her husband, “me and arnie are sleeping together tonight.” and he says fine and sleeps in the kid’s bed. the kid’s bed. leaving her alone with the kid in thier bed. does he not fear for his masculinity, being usurped by someone under the age of 8? that’s whack i tell you. wiggity whack, wyatt. gonna have one little messed up kid.

and i’m done and i’ll fortify.

soooo irreverent questions aside, today i heard on the radio that this hair product called krpytonite (bright green gel) is being sued by the owners of the Superman comic. and my question here is this–is kryptonite the hair gel an attack on the american people’s patriotism? let me explain. so i read this article in some magazine about how superman was born in order to give the american people a feeling of power in a downtrodden world, what with the war and hitler and some such. (think chabon’s kavalier and clay those of you who have read it). and then the people as a whole no longer needed superman because we found our own power/subjugated other countries to our world domination tricks. and now (so the magazine said) becuase of september 11, the people have rediscovered a deep-seated fear of powerlessness and are looking again to mythic heros and legendary feats of prowess. and they hae taken superman as an emblem of the firefighters in new york and as the soldiers in afghanistan. and in that vein, superman t-shirts are cropping up more around town, and the comic is selling better, and people have superman bumper stickers. blah blah blah. (i myself have not noticed this, so we are basically going on the theory that this magazine article was correct). so back to the question, is this kryptonite gel a further reinforcement just of superman’s presense among us, or is it a subtle mockery of america’s fight against terrorism? in fact, is the kryptonite so insidiously buried throughout the country’s psyche that the outward show of bright, green, spiky hair is merely a projection of the will to NOT succeed? of the uncaring apathy that has become our lives? of the crippling effect that our own country-fellows’ minds are having, at this very moment, on the war itself?

assuming i am correct and that the kryptonite sporting freaks are terrorists in our own back yard, what should we do about them? throw stones? smash their car windows? water down their gel with atomic waste and laugh as their hair falls out? food fight?

whatever i say. and again with the whatevs yo. power to the people and free speech/hair products for all. amen.