Categotry Archives: General


fucking middle schoolers

No comments yet

Categories: General

Today, per usual, I sunbathed at lunchtime while wearing a bikini top and overalls. Some excessively loud, obnoxious middle schoolers were on campus and when I put my shirt back on they went off on it/me.

�You don�t got to put your shirt back on for them!�

�What is she wearing?�

�It�s a bathing suit top and a bathing suit bottom.�

�It�s not warm enough.�

�Why is she wearing it there?�

�If I had a bathing suit I�d be wearing it.�

�It�s hot!�

�It�s not even that warm!�

�People don�t just take off their clothes and wear bathing suits.�

�What�s she doing in it anyway?�

�She�s sunbathing!�

�It�s not even warm out.�

�They live on campus. They can do things like this.�

�If I had that body I�d be wearing a bikini too.�

�You would not!�

�It�s not that nice out!�

�What�s she wearing?�

�A bathing suit!�

�What for?�

I fucking kid you not. Fucking middle schoolers. Whoo. I used to be one of them. I don�t think I was that loud though.

So this weekend I was at the movie theatre and there were these two lesbians sitting next to me at the Bourne Identity (review coming.) and one of them was serious dyke action. And the other one was having issues and all torn up about it and CRYING in the movie theatre. And saying things such as, �I want to kiss you.� In the THEATRE. I was sitting there going good jesus, get over the fact that you�re bisexual already and shut the fuck up. It would have been endearing if she wasn�t so melodramatic. But in reality it was just dumb. Sigh. Buggin lesbians. I wish I could think things were sweet more often. I saw this couple on campus and the boy was dropping off the girl and they were all huggy huggy kissy kissy. And I was all like goddammit, pretty skinny blonde girl. Ok I actually found them pretty adorable. And before you go all homophobic on my ass and say that I was irritated by the lesbians simply because they were being openly gay in a public place�bite your tongue. You didn�t have to sit next to that girl. The openly happy about her lesbian status one was actually pretty cool. It was the other one. The other one who I wanted to punch in the face and tell her to stop making this butch lady so miserably unhappy and unrequited in love. Although I think the short haired baseball cap wearing white t-shirted and baggy pants sporting one was getting a little fed up her own self.

Speaking of the gays, I believe it�s gay pride weekend here in SF this upcoming 2 days off from work. I probably won�t budge from my house honestly. But there you have it.

Ahem and in conclusion. Kristen and I have different musical tastes. And just as I find Kristen�s choices of maudlin, morose males and feminist femme fatales kind of sweet; I think she finds the fact that I will sing along to Limp Bizkit about taking a chainsaw to someone�s bare ass kind of cute.

Balderdash is so much better than dictionary. Dictionary is the half ass to which I have just taken a chainsaw compared to Balderdash.

p.s. disregard what Kristen says and read her short fiction.

p.p.s. camping


Ferret Fun

No comments yet

Categories: General

This is absurd how long it has taken me to update again. I admit it. And I apologize for it. Mainly to myself because I�m disappointed in myself for being a lazy slacker. What do you people care. There are so many other personal web pages to read anyway.


So! Last weekend, I went to Reno. Reno fer fuck�s sake. It was a little surreal. And I went to that rave that my brother was playing at and holy shit he�s gotten so good! I was very impressed. And pleased. And dancing. Erica came too and we had a good time at the rave and then on ferret rescue mission the next day. Sadly we missed pedal boating. But another time we have promised ourselves to go. Speaking of the ferret, he�s calmed down a ton and did not try to make a flying leap to gnaw off all my fingers the last time I saw him. He did still smell atrocious however.

Hmmm what else have I been doing with myself?�. Well I certainly haven�t been getting any sex unlike some other people I could name�� And what�s up with that, I ask. Possibly what�s up with that is the complete non-effort I put into getting someone to have sex with. Whatever. I think it�s time to stop discussing my lack of a sex-life. After all you can just go to Kristen�s page to read about the implicated Michele�s standards are too high.

I had an interview this week for a job at UCB in the Center for Middle Eastern Studies and they were asking me questions about how much I knew of the Middle East and what I would say if someone called asking for comments on a bombing in Israel or something. And the temptation to go on and on about death to heretics and beating woman in the streets was strong. But I persevered in being a polite non-terrorist/terrorist-hater. They had a gorgeous office anyway. And the money was sweet. But I still don�t think (contrary to the mucho good will of my friends) that I will be getting this job. However according to Kristen I�ve got to hurry up and get some other kind of job since they have to let one of the TAPS in my office go. And let�s all be honest here, who has the worst work ethic of all the TAPS in this office? Oh that would be me. Oh yes. Me me me. Dammit. Possibly I will have to take Kristen�s French department job after all. Where I will be forced to listen to a lot of blow job stories from the sounds of things. The slurpy disgusting sounds of things.

Erica has gone away for the next 2 weeks. To Montana of all places. Crazy psycho (but not a beach psycho.) We shall all just have to persevere in the face of a lack of Erica I suppose. I�m sure we�ll survive it somehow. Put on those happy faces people.

I have come to the conclusion that I do not have the wherewithal to go to the gym by myself. Am I a loser? Yes I am. On the other hand, can Kristen go to the grocery store by herself? No she can�t. It pisses me off though. Because I really do want to exercise and get into shape and look good when I get to go to Hawaii. It�s just too much to expect for me to make my lazy ass go to the gym though. Fucking slacker ass. I spank you.

So last night as I was checking my email I found a rejection letter from the Pacific ART/Film archive place. Fucking ay. I could do that job in my sleep. I was so upset mad and angry. But now I�m just depressed. Why is it that I can�t get a better job? I fucking hate the real world.

Oh and an update for everybody on the car accident stuff. The motorcyclist had no insurance, registration, or a motorcycle liscense. So he got hella tickets. For which I do not feel sorry for him because he should have all those things and that is his problem. But I do feel sorry for him having to pay all those tickets and his bike is trashed and that completely sucks ass. I was so hopeful that we would get the police report and it would absolve me of guilt in the entire affair and then I could go back to not stressing about having almost killed someone. But the fucking police report was full of lies and things I didn�t say and really didn�t make me feel better about myself at all. The number of people who called in and told the police how erratically and insanely the guy was driving did not make it any better that I was the one he crashed into. It�s got to be partly my fault too.

My mom took some pictures of my car and I�ll post them as soon as she gets them developed. And I fed some raccoons last night and I�ll post pictures of them too. And tonight we are going to be playing board games and I�m sure you�ll all want/need to see pictures of that too eventually someday. Whatever. 😛


car accident

No comments yet

Categories: General

in other news. nuala and i got in a car accident on the freeway (we are both fine and so is the other guy) but i was changing lanes cause i was in stop and go and the other lane was clear like 4 cars back so i was moving over and this motorcycle came out of nowhere (i swear) and rear ended me. smash! the glass shattered and we had it in our hair and down our backs. and the back is all scrunched in and the police came and the firetruck and the ambulance. it was awful. i was so scared that the motorcycle guy had really hurt himself (the cop said he was ok). anyway it was awful. and nuala and i called in to work that we weren’t coming and came home and went to my mom’s and called her at work and made her come home and call the insurance people and drive us back to my house. whereupon we have been sitting here since like 11am watching movies. good times. and my brother called cause he went home on lunch break and my car was there all broken and my mom wasn’t home anymore and he was worried about me. it was sweet. anyway. so that was my day. my shitty shitty day. and i think nuala has whiplash.


Teuret’s Syndrome

1 comment

Categories: General

So I don�t really have anything to say her I am just striving to look busy so I can get a good sneak peek at Erica�s date, Turell. (no idea how that�s really spelled and I will refrain from telling you my nickname for him��Teuret�s syndrome. Although to his credit he seemed very nice when he did finally get to the door. Which took a while, probably too busy yelling obsenities at passing cars. Wow I am totally going to get sooo much fucking shit for this. He seemed nice. Yey Erica, you go on that date. J I�m happy for you. No no really. Fucking ay. All I get is the freak at DVD depot asking me if I�m single. So unfair. Ok People so basically all I did in my fit of productivity here was update the movie reviews page. Which still needs some work, I admit it. And also it�s funny how long the first review is and then how they taper off into one word exclamations of �Good!� �Sweet!� (and speaking of sweet damn dood do I ever need to own that movie.) Umm and also I really need to work perhaps on being a little more analytical, which would I think require me actually writing about them as soon as I had seen them and doing some research and getting back into the mindset of a critic, a habit which I have lost in all these intervening months from school to now. So in order to appease you people into believing that I really could go to film theory grad school (kim. J) I�m going to upload my paper about john woo films on that page for reading pleasure. Any day now I swear. And I�m still trying to fix the �Jerry� link down in 5/29/02. YEY!! He�s fixed! (spayed and neutered all thanks to Jacob.) So go visit him. Here he is again, if you are too lazy to go down and find him again. jerry! jerry!

No longer is my hair purple. Already it is gone. Faded like flower petals on the wind. Sigh. But now it is a pretty auburn color for my interview tomorrow at the pacific film archive and art museum store. Fingers crossed everybody. Please.


Anderson love

No comments yet

Categories: General

A dear boy named Anderson sent me a very odd letter in the mail the other day. If you wish to view his convoluted musings and my reply to suchamuch please go here:

spermwhale secrets


I wasn�t admittedly supposed to tell anyone about this, as you can see from the aforementioned anderson�s recent emailing:

i am the man in the pants

I hope that you don’t get too excited about the plan I sent you. It is for your eyes only. Remember, I was the inventor! So, keep it a secret until my patent license comes through. I don’t need any infringement. So, on that beautiful note, goodbye.


Ah Anderson. When will you ever learn not to trust me? Hugs and blowing kisses, Spermy.



p.s. when you go to spermwhale secrets make sure to go to the second page and then all the way over to the bottom right hand corner to see my reply to anderson�s mail.


by the sea! wish i could be…

No comments yet

Categories: General

so my mom gave me a flyer for the annual nordstrom sale which starts next week and i said,

“dood i can’t go to this. i don’t have any money.”

“me neither,” my mom sighed.

“shit,” i said. “i want to go.”

“me too.”

“i’m gonna go.”

“me too.”

“i can’t move to san diego.”

“huh?” (this sudden change of topic thru my mother off a bit)

“i don’t have any money. i can’t move.”

for all of you who really really cared. i am not moving to San Diego. Marina promises to eventually forgive me. (who knows how long that will take. grin.) the inevitibility of me going to a nordies sale has convinced me, at last, of the sheer emptiness of my pocket book. i do not know what i do with all my money. it’s amazing though how i have none of it. perhaps next time it’s NYE i should make a resolution to keep better track of my expenses. but then again maybe by next NYE i’ll be living in a cardboard box on the street. ha ha. just kidding. i’m going to be living at home for the year. attempting the possibly impossible goal of saving 10,000 dollars and being able to pay for at least part of grad school next next fall.

in other news. i cut all my hair off. there’s bangs. holy christ is there ever. jumping basket of lizards.

ar ar ar. cementhorizon. ar ar ar.

1 2 121 122 123 124 125 126 127