Tag Archives: Erica

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Napa Weekend: Story #3

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Categories: General, Tags: , ,

This is my illicit story which I probably really shouldn’t be posting but it’s too good to pass up. Also this story is kind of inferred from what I vaguely remember in my drunken haze. Only the photo is irrefutable.

At our 4th or 5th winery of the day–Jefferson Cellars, or something like that–I was pretty drunk. Mostly because I kept drinking Jason’s tastings as well as my own. No. Not mostly because of that. That was only like three tastings. It was really just the aggregate of all my tastings and champagne in the car.

Point is: Erica was texting with Jolie who wanted something scandalous to happen on this wine induced fog of impaired judgment. Her example was that Erica and I should make out in the stretch yellow Hummer. Well….we weren’t in the Hummer at that particular moment so we made do.

photo.jpg

The Jason element was a genius move on Erica’s part. And Jolie’s reply was immediate and laughingly asked what else she should request if we were going to oblige her so quickly and in a most amusing manner.

Later that evening Jolie texted to ask if we did anything else sordid that Jason endorsed.

My reply: “Erica and I made out all day long, Jason’s thumbs are SO tired.”

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Napa Weekend: Story #2

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Categories: General, Tags: , , ,

On Kristen’s birthday morning I paced back and forth in front of the glass door leading to her and Gene’s sun-porch bedroom working up the guts to walk inside. I am a Nervous Nelly, ever unsure of my welcome–especially in the wee hours. But of course I was graciously accepted as I came bearing gifts.

My present this year for Kris was a hand-made ticket redeemable for admission to “New Moon” at a place and time of her choosing. Which, let me tell you, is a concession for me since it means I probably won’t get to see it the day it comes out. But considering that it’s her 30th Birthday and I couldn’t buy something actually expensive or nice or join her on a trip to Vegas, it was really the least I could do. Plus my ticket had a picture of Edward and Bella as Barbie dolls on the front. You can buy them as Barbies. BARBIES. So ridiculous.

And then the STRETCH. YELLOW. HUMMER. arrived. To grant you a good visual of how awful this looks, please see the below evidence of our trip.

I highly recommend going to look at a bigger version of the picture to get a gander at some of the priceless facial expressions. Erica’s in particular. Though Kim is probably flashing the middle finger behind her back too. And Kristen on the end looks like a model.

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Napa Weekend: Story #1

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Categories: General, Tags: , ,

Our first night in Napa for Kristen’s 30th birthday, Adam busted out the bottles of wine. By the time we’d (7 of us) drunk 6 bottles, people actually started arriving.

At this point, I was very, very drunk and Erica pointed out that we didn’t have a bed yet. So I busted out the brand new inflatable queen that my mom purchased that very day and we started to blow it up. We sat and waited. And looked at pictures of Erica’s crush on her IPhone. And waited. It wasn’t working. I attempted to read the directions. Mind you, I was drunk, but I think the lighting was bad too because it was hard to read–all blurry and things kept moving around….OK, I was just drunk. After re-reading the the 1 sided, 1 page of directions multiple times I finally figured out that you needed to charge the motor for 24 hours in advance of using it; not just plug and blow. I relayed this information to Erica. She was frankly disbelieving. I read the directions a couple more times to discover that you could use the lighter volt thing in a car for a measly minute and it would be inflated.

We carried the mattress to the car. DRUNK. Plugged it in and it was loud. So loud. But 60 seconds later we had something much more unwieldy to carry back inside. So giddy at this point I barely managed to make it in the front door before dropping the back end and falling on the bed.

“It’s so firm!” I wheezed out between giggles.

Kristen came tearing around the corner and yelled triumphantly, “That’s what she said!”