some time later while michele and long-hai were browsing crate and barrel (crate? or barrel? crate? barrel? table leg?)……
“ahhhhh!!! i have to buy that for nuala!”
“wHy?!” (in tones of rampant disgust)
“well…cause her nickname is ducky. and will you LOOK at that thing?”
a pause for studied reflection.
“well considering that this tag here actually proclaims the many uses of filbur the duck clock and one of them is, ‘filbur can be used as a storage shelf too!’ maybe you SHOULD buy it.”
“hwee! shelf-bill! shelf-bill!”
“and it’s only $19.95. a small price to pay for nuala’s joy, right?”
“oh god what are you saying? she’d kill me if i got her that.”
“what? you were the one who wanted to buy it.”
“well but….she’d HATE it. she’d never put it up and she would think it’s hideous. it IS hideous. besides there’s none here to buy. they’re just on display. oo look make-up in a paint can!”
“you could ask someone where some are.”
“mmm complete makeover in a paint can.”
“all right i’m asking.”
“goddammit.”
even later (after buying the duckling filbur clock idea had been completely run roughshod over and dropped at the wayside.)
“that isn’t very PC.”
“ey what?” me rubbernecking furiously to see what the hell he’s talking about.
“black waiter’s corkscrew.”
“oh man….”
The duck thing is not as hideous as I imagined. But yes I don’t want it.
i don’t think she knows WHAT she wants. but i think i know what i’m getting her for xmas.
(ed mcmahon voice) hoooo! look out!
oh god not the duck please!
DUCK! DUCK! DUCK! DUCK!
goose.
HA YES! YOU ARE CORRECT SIR! ONCE I WAS DRUNK….
JOHNNY CARSON IS A SMART MAN.
if anyone is looking for a nice present for xmas for me, i sure would love a cd of the ass merchants and that freaky norway band.
mmmmmmm…pate de foie gras.
tu aimes la francais maintenant, non?