the rest of my new year’s pictures are now up on eloise. so you can go check them out. and i spent beaucoups amount of time on the phone yesterday with gene wherein i was most definitely not ooey gooey listening to the mellifluous and refusing to allow him to get back to his funner activities. in point of fact i had to wait like half hour for him to call me back when i first contacted him when he was busy being a host. sigh. (don’t make sad face, gene! i’m not complaining, i really didn’t care. =) uhhh yeah so i got neck cricks yesterday attempting to learn how to upload pictures myself directly to eloise and when that failed i got inducted into fun computer nerd realm where gene told me what to type in creepy black screen with the weird words and the symbols and i sent pictures thru the ether (who knows how *that* works) to CH for him to get to and put up for me. so cool! i felt, briefly, like a hacker. with absolutely, mind you, no idea what i was hacking or how i was doing it. prompt! hash! mput! hmmm don’t laugh. i know i wasn’t actually haxoring. you know how i can tell? i can’t even write 4aXor correctly. i am in fact merely a sad loser whose brief brush with glory and fame on the start: run: command menu of ms dos prompt (old skool) created delusions of grandeur with johnny lee miller/angelina jolie epic showdown type action. ha ha ha! supposedly *real* hackers hate that movie. jacob told me that once. than again, other than all the cool things i know of that jacob has done, i’ve never really thought of him as a hacker. and those things, secret things, which he has done…dunno if those really count. maybe jacob is a fraud like me? j/k jacob. i’m sure you’re the og gangsta of the underground code world.
sooooo i’ve been wondering. which as you can tell, takes up all my time and makes it impossible for me to create actual posts cause the brain is too busy being with the thinking instead of the type-gushing. you know how i’ve got all these weird idiosyncratic paranoias about posting? the whole counter thing? and the irritation at sean’s blog being funnier than mine? and the possibility of kristen appreciating someone else’s blog and finding it more interesting than mine? right well. ok. due to the fact that locust is still on a different fucking time zone, i’ve almost gotten over the counter thing. and due to kristen ego-pumping me today i know that i am the bestest funniest cutest thing ever. and so my issue now is: if sean’s blog was funniest cause it didn’t have all the in-jokes and it was updated so infrequently–now that he updates all the time and has more in-jokes and i have been a lousy updater with, uh, still primarily texts composed of in-jokes–could it be true that now i am funnier than sean? was that question in itself really funny? oh ho ho ho ho, i think it was. goddammit. sean is still way funnier than me. and i hate that counter! and kristen is full of ego boosting manure! huff huff huff.
(and michele slides back into inert self-disgust.)
first: i think hackers hate the movie “hackers” b/c of all of the scenes which (as one example) depict cyberspace as a real, viewable city, with towering buildings made of binary, that you can fly through like tribes while you are hacking. and all of the hacker characters who wear capes and refer to themselves as “lord so and so.” but i think i am just scratching the surface of what is hateful about the movie.
i liked it though. b/c angelina. wet. mm.
second, sean’s blog was so funny because he only wrote jokes. instead of actually writing about his life like the rest of us.
third, I sound really pompous. don’t I? pompous? look, I brought you a kite! how light and fun I am! okay! now we’re cooking with gas (and a kite)!
whatever pompous manure.
…you owe me a kite.
I write mostly jokes because I fundamentally think my ordinary life is uninteresting, except for the funny things children or my friends say to me. Also, I don’t have a real job, or schoolwork, or romantic/personal relationships to distract me from what I do best – desperate, obnoxious pleas for attention/laughter/love(?)/comments.
wait a second. are you not in school still? why don’t you have school work? and you don’t consider your job real? you go to it don’t you? are they just imaginary dinosaurs? and imaginary info on earthquakes, giant alligators, and 10 foot tall beavers?
the 10-foot beaver was mine.
you owe me a 10-foot beaver. baby.
No, I’m not in school. No more dinosaurs at the museum at present, only elephants, and those only until Sunday. Yes, I have got beaver fever.
uhhh………what?
i’ve been out of school for too long. brain gone to mush!
I don’t really think of myself as a hacker, either. Mostly because as a hacker, I’m a really really really really bad one. Although I do think of Kristen as a giant dork because she not only referenced Tribes, but did so in a manner that suggested it was the most normal thing in the world. DORK DORK DORK!!!!!!
I really miss Tribes…
since when are you not in school?!
my apparent horror at this news is not feigned. it just goes to prove to me how little i know about my friends. is my attention that scattered? goddammit. but….did you graduate. (she asks nervously. not sure of whether this is a delicate subject matter that should by all rights be avoided.)
kristen: baby.
i really miss watching you guys play tribes. NOT.
fucking ay.
shazbot, motherf***er.
(motherfucker censored due to possible presence of mothers in the audience.)
i didn’t censor myself when i said it in front of my mother the other night. but ok. right on, kristen.
aw aw crap. shazbot.
it’s like a fucking party on CH all of a sudden. where have these motherfuckers been all fucking day long when i was eating flecks of my own skull?
It’s not really delicate. I’d write about it on the blog, were the whole situation funnier.
Basically, I have done poorly, making little progress in the past few years at school. Really, for the past three years or so, I have been mostly rather depressed, and not very stuff-accomplishing and friendship-maintaining and self-caring. But I am feeling a lot better recently.
Anyway, I don’t like school very much. Never really did. I like reading books, and I’ve always liked talking to the other people that are at school, but I don’t much care for the academics. Which would be a moot point, except that I think I’d just end up withdrawing again if I went back, so why not save a little tuition money, since I don’t really aspire to jobs that require college degrees anyway?
And that’s the longest comment with the least relevance to the original blog entry *ever*.
i’m still pissed that we all don’t get avatars and 3-D cybercities like Neal Stephenson and William Gibson promised!
where’s my avatar, motherfucker?!?
sorry, mom.
oh oh OH! NOW who’s the nerd, miller?
(hint: it’s you. also me.)
At my house, my mom is usually the one saying “motherfucker.” Though, not usually in reference to my father.
my mom will not brook it. she also objects to the use of “the mother of all” as a description, as in “that is the mother of all pasta bowls.” despite me explaining that “mother” means “origin” here, she still thinks it’s derogatory.
p.s. michele, “eating flecks off my own skull” almost made me have a bad accident with rootbeer.
To my mom the complementary sentiment offered by Pearl Jam – “… don’t call me daughter… ” – was similary offensive to motherhood. (I’m not sure why my post took this tone ’cause I don’t actually talk like that… hrmm… )
kristen: i’m sorry to hear it. rootbeer, in my opinion though is always a bad accident waiting to happen. i think it has something to do with its association with tubers.
sean: wow. i was not quite expecting that amount of gut spillage. but ok. 1)i am glad you are doing better recently. cause you are one of the coolest people i know. 2)out of curiousity, what job DO you aspire to then? and 3)that thing about your mother and father…that just ain’t right, dood. just ain’t right.
I don’t know if I aspire to anything specifically, but I feel that what I do best is write, and specifically, write funny. I can also talk funny, and use funny voices while talking funny. Surely, there’s employment which can utilize those skill sets. Possibly even outside of Los Angeles or that weird animation voiceover/cigarette pitchman job Robin Williams quits at the beginning of “Mrs. Doubtfire.”
hey, if i don’t understand what any of you mothereffers are talking about, does that make me a cool kid and not a nerd?
sure it does, tracy. sure it does.
sean: hmmm ok. go for the gusto, m’boy! you are very funny after all. (look! we tied back into my post!)
help the stupid girl feel cool? is that it? thanks. jk 😉