happy birthday, john!

welp, 26 is finally here. shit you’re old. and, i’ve got to say, you’ve come a long way from impressionable curly haired cherub to drunken fiancee impromptu-ly holding a little scrap of paper with a scribbled “2” tacked on to the heartfelt “i *heart* you” message from katherine. there were times when i despaired of you ever making it to china (still waiting for that to happen really). at first i thought, “yeah, he’s hella smart with that wheelbarrow and plastic shovel. he’s bound to break on thru to the other side one of these days. while adam will probably sit there puzzling over which end goes into the ground for the next 20 years.” sadly though you merely became a disillusioned hoodlum with time to kill and the will to kill to it in the most bizarre and obscure body and facial movements you could come up with. there was also that brief period where you attempted an unaffected sweet disposition. you never fooled me though. at heart i know you and i will always be planning that next prank and executing it with glee. and for this, my penultimate side-splitter pulled on you: (please don’t kill me. i can’t stop myself.) happy birthday in your birthday suit!