drew: i should have known you, the white girl, would end up going for the white boy.
me: well, what do you expect? he’s so beautiful he makes my toes drool.
pause.
me: on reflection that doesn’t sound so appealing out loud. and he’s standing behind me isn’t he?
drew: yeah.
cute usher bends over and kisses the side of my neck below the ear.
me: if you…(shudder in deep breath)…if you ration that out as a reward, i’ll be really good.
cute usher: how are your toes doing?
me: soggy, but incredibly happy.
cute usher: well then, i don’t know if i’ll be able to control my kissing sprees.
This happened, right? Tell me this happened. This wasn’t just a dream.
Shit, I just consulted my dream symbology book–being kissed by a cute usher means that you will either marry a sugar daddy, or you will be brutally killed by two Jews with a pack of angry bees (jujubees).
I hope this really happened as well.
I am pro cute ushers! Woo-hoo!
yes, please tell us this really happened. i don’t care if it’s a lie, just tell me it’s true.
Awww c’mon Michele! The suspence is killing me! I don’t have any cute ushers nibbling on my ears … you lucky bitch.