scene: little billy and sarah clamber out of the outback rover with their parents on kangaroo island. billy and sarah, being naturally exuberant children, race around in circles for a bit, while mr. and mrs. rowe watch with smiles on their faces and their arms around one another’s backs.
sarah: mommy, why is this place so denuded?
billy: oooo, you said the ‘n’ word…
mrs. rowe: you know we’ve talked about this, sa-put your shirt back on, you dirty whore!
billy: ooo someone’s going to feel the firm back of daddy’s hand…
mr. rowe: slap what? slap who? slap now?
off in the distance there is a loud crashing noise and as they turn to look in startlement, a tree a quarter mile away falls over. the long grass between them and the tree starts violently rustling and there are loud grunting noises getting closer.
mr. rowe: back in the car!
mrs. rowe: fly to me, children, to me!
billy: look, a bug!
sarah (as billy eats the bug, [she should have pigtails]): eeewwww.
the parents swoop up a child each (stick to genders). mr. rowe slaps billy across the face so the bug flies out. at this moment seven koalas crash into the clearing. they’re all kind of scruffy and thin looking with red-rimmed eyes and wicked sharp claws. two of them try to snatch up the bug at once and engage in a full-on fight with wrist-slaps and tickles over it.
mrs. rowe: this is terrifying!
billy (blubbering): mm-mmm-myyy bbb-bbuuu-g!
mr. rowe: be a man! i’m a man! stinking koalas should be shot.
sarah: fuzzy! fuzzy!
billy: (struggling to get away from mr. rowe): give me back my bug, you damn stinking koalas!
billy kicks his father in the gut and is released. he runs over to the koalas, who abandon the bug, forget gum trees, and spit out pine needles in order to cram warm human flesh into their gaping maws. somehow then they should become zombies. because zombies are cool.
i liked the part with koalas.