fourth graders are fucked.
my mom teaches fourth grade so i know of what i speak second hand. one of her punk ass kids (G) is stalking a girl in the class (K). K’s parents are none too pleased by the sleep-over disruptions and prank phone calls–well, come on, they’re fourth graders, he’s not really leaving her razor blades in roses yet. but how long will it be till that happens? they’ve only got to hit puberty and have their bodies change for sexual congress before they’re not only fucked, but fucking. which is the point of this post in the first place, since G is totally jumping the procreation gun.
recently these punks showcased a fundamental problem in society–bad, bad manners. they passed a note in front of my mom during class. that’s just rude, punks. were you raised in a barn? this is what the note said:
G: who would you rather make kids with, Y or K?
Q: i would rather fuck a donkey.
as proof, i offer you this tastefully censored scan of the note.
ok, i totally edited that note for you. jesus, who taught them to spell? come on mom, this is why arnold pays you the big bucks.
What did the reply say before Q changed it to say “fuck a donkey”? I’d kind of found G’s phrase “make kids with” to be old-school and charming, as was his(?) spelling of “Rrather.”
I like that they took the time and care to date their correspondence.
Sadly, these are clearly two of mine.
I’m definitely going to use that as my default phrase for ladies I like from now on. Yeah, your friend is pretty cute. I’d make kids with her. You know, if the alternative was fucking a donkey and all.
1. i don’t know what it said before “fuck”. i think it probably said “fuck” and that’s just some weird pencil impression or something to do with how i scanned it.
2. my mom dated it for posterity. she’s already given copies to the parents and the principal. those kids are in serious trouble.
3. sean, it’s always good to have a line.
I think it said “have” as in “have sex with.”
dude, is it a good idea to be posting this?
-Cautious in California
i think it’s ok because my mom’s name, the school name, and the kids’ full names aren’t here. i was worried too, but my mom said it would be all right.