last week at rock city with excitable 5 and 2 year olds, i learned many things:
1. if you accidentally give a kid a boost causing him to ram face first into a rock, well, he’s probably OK. i mean. he’s not bleeding or anything. totally fine.
2. if you’re helping a kid get a pretzel and accidentally sweep him off the picnic table bench and face first onto the dirty ground, well, he picks himself back up again. kids! they’re resilient. bounce back like jiggly jell-o. no problem-o.
3. it is amazing the things kids can quote. tyler can do some excellent bolt impressions.
“are you hungry?!” he hollers at me.
and before i can answer he yells “starving!” in a psychotic serial killer hamster in a ball sort of way. then we eat lunch (see #4).
later on he sings ‘iron man’ by black sabbath. have you ever heard a child sing heavy metal? it’s kind of awesomely creepy.
“Nobody wants him
He just stares at the world
Planning his vengeance
That he will soon unfurl
Now the time is here
For Iron Man to spread fear
Vengeance from the grave
Kills the people he once saved”
4. before the trip to rock city i mentioned to ellie how great it was that she was always feeding me. it’s like a complete abdication of responsibility sometimes, being around her and the boys. i can be just the third kid. fed and reprimanded to behave appropriately. i’m pretty sure after the multiple accidents i was directly responsible for my appropriate behavior points had shot way down and yet she still gave me a ham and cheese sandwich. she also offered to burp me. i turned her down.
5. kids are gullible. you tell them the fire ants will eat them and they think every ant is a fire ant capable of devouring them in one bite. tyler was all, “ant! ant!” and i’m like, “dude, it’s black not red. calm down. it won’t eat you.” and then i accidentally tripped him and he fell into a mass of poison oak.
no, not really.
“seriously michele, there’s an ant over there.”
“it’s not going to eat you. i’m sorry i ever lied to you.”
“liars never prosper. ‘I. Am. Iron. Man…do duh do do do do duh duh do.'”
more pictures here.