michele

well apparently none of you like porn.

so i applied to a job at this small publishing house in berkeley called stone bridge press. and i think i might get an interview next week. how exciting is that? pretty damn sweet, lemme tell you. of course, it’s only 20 hours/week, $10/hour, no benefits, and possibly the boss is a little too intense. sigh. why can no job be perfect? why must working suck so much ass?

what is it with me lately and porn? i have no idea. mind you that is a pretty unobjectionable picture of sailor moon compared to some of the other ones i just looked at. and at work too. i am totally defiling this computer.

so last night, jason and i watched the first 2 episodes of queer as folk. holy shit, it should be called “folk who are sex addicts.” speaking of whacking off and letting me watch… well anyway, it was intense. the things i get thru netflix. (head shaking) it’s crazy.

and then this morning my inbox is again filled to overflowing with the glorious messages of free sex pics and the like. here is a quick sample:

from courtney: Adv:Adult: Too Hot To Handle? 🙂

from ?: Hi jakemydog ?

from cathy: THESE WOMEN WANT TO MEET YOU!

from Melvina Grossman: It’s gotta be the RIGHT Size! Extra Large.

from Legal Eagle (not porn but still funny.): Fuk_o Legal Problem?

from Sex Pic of the Day(i actually got 7 of these. all the same naked girl.): July 24, 20002 FREE Sex Pic

from uzthgensk: CELEBRITY GANGBANG AND YOURE INVITED!

this last is really my fave rave. this is what the text inside the message says:

Have you ever seen your favorite celeb with a load shot across her face? We have!

Have you ever seen your favorite celeb bent over and showing it all for the cameras without them knowing it? We have!

We have it all!!! All the uncut hard to find footage that they wish you wouldnt see!

But now you can see it right here for FREE!!!

i am a bit trepidatious about clicking on the link since i am at work. but if you’all want to try it go right ahead.

today i am wearing a tanktop that has a comic strip woman graphic saying, “beat it punk!!!”

i am curious as to whether anyone at work gets the subtle implication that it might mean, “whack off and let me watch” instead of just “scram.” i am now very worried about the state of these people’s gutter minds. how dirty are they? could they possibly be as nasty as me? it doesn’t seem very bloody likely.

you know what else i am worried about? the fact that i haven’t really been updating the movies page at all. this bothers me. it’s difficult to update 2 pages. and i am lazy. ooo i suck. and speaking of things that suck, there’s this oyster farm in oregon which has a t-shirt that says:

Shuck Me

Suck Me

Eat Me Raw

Oregon Oyster Farms

Newport Oregon

how pleasing is that? pretty great. i am very tempted by it. which is not all that surprising considering that other one i have:

hug me

kiss me

lick me

suck me

blow me

fuck me

mind you that one goes from big letters to small ones. and i could be remembering it wrong. i really just have a fond recollection of the tiny one that says “fuck me.”

PS. I forgot, but i wanted everyone to go look at this link for my brother’s clothing company. just in case you needed any clothes. 🙂 i’m going to add it to the links on the right too.

last night i watched “sheena,” the movie version from 1984. whoo boy, buck-o. that was some trashy gar-bage. at first it seemed so brill, but that quickly became a sorry, sorry ass lie.

“Also of interest, apparently there was someone else who auditioned for the role but did not get it, her name was Sybil. Although I think Tanya is far better looking, I have heard rumors that there was a lot more going on under the covers (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) that helped Tanya land the role.” wrote one fan on her webpage.

good lord could that really be true? it would make sense considering the movie’s attempts at being soft core porn. of course the nominal word there is “attempts.” naked sheena? yes. naked vic casey? yes. two naked people getting hot and heavy? no. goddamm but it was agravating. stupid cock tease of a movie.

on the other hand dialogue such as the following cannot be discounted from the pro side:

“I’m done for, babe. And all I can think to say is–Shit.”

i bet vic casey was wishing he’d gotten sheena to put him on fire rather than receiving “fatal degree burns.”

ahhhHHH!!!! linda cardellini was at the Aidswalk yesterday being a guest of honor and then when Nuala and i were walking, she was suddenly there. being all walking too. and we walked behind her forever! i was so excited! if you do not know who she is (more fool you) if you look at this picture you will prob have a vague idea. but if you are in the know and look at this picture you will see why i was so excited. 🙂 yey! her bf was there too, jason segal also from “freaks and geeks”. and they were just walking along. walking. walking. me right behind them! it was super great fantastic! yes i realize my enthusiasm is a little out of control. shut your mouth.

and nuala saw some bison. (bison! bison! bison!) so she was pretty happy too.

speaking of the aidswalk though. i mean as long as we’re ON the subject. what the fuck is the point of the walking part is what i want to know. getting the donations is all well and good, but then once you have them what’s the point in the actual walking? it’s dumb. and full of blistery pain. couldn’t it just be like the aidsfundraiser? which is not to say that it was not a nice walk. pretty. trees. dirt. umm…the aforementioned bison. and the excitement lucky chance-o of walking behind linda cardellini.

but…i dunno. it felt kind of shunted into the park and it wasn’t like it was being widely covered by anyone who cared. and i didn’t feel as if i formed some deep bond with my fellow walkers in our committed fight against aids. mainly i felt that we all bonded over the fact that the promised “ice cream” was really just melted popicee in the plastic recepticles. and i guess if you are a huge honey roasted peanuts fan than they were handing those out and i saw some people making out like bandits running off clutching handfuls of the little baggies. but come on, were we on a plane? i think not.

cheapskates.

i got two free t-shirts though. free ones. i slept in one last night. along with my not so free lacy pink panties. yeah….you didn’t need to know that.

what else i did this fine fine weekend: spent entirely too much time next to a pool (all three days.) and went to a fascinating party at tracy and ian’s house in oakland. there was a guy there who i have to give mad props too. at first i was utterly flabbergasted by his clothing choices. but after a few minutes of adjusting time i was in awe. who could pull off an outfit like that? not many people let me tell you. definite flair. hmmm possibly now he will be reading this though, so perhaps i should feel slightly nervous about writing anything, since for some reason you bastards were talking about weblogs and now everyone knows i bite kristen’s ass. tragic. i am deeply ashamed. deeply i tell you.

you know what’s fascinating? the lengths people go to when talking about peanuts.

although i am gloriously happy that it is friday, i am also bored, sleepy, irritable, and easily upset. grr i say to you readers. grrr. better watch out or i’ll bite your finger off.

what’s sad is that i really don’t have anything to say today. which is not so bad since no one had anything to say about my posting yesterday. turn around = fair play. mind you…i won’t let fair play stop me from babbling on for a while now.

on wed we played baseball and tracy hit me with the ball. ouchie. pain. it’s actually still not mutliple colors i am very sad. it’s all puffy of course and red, but where’s the black and the blue and maybe so later i could have some green and yellow? i am still hopeful that it will come around. anyway, even though i got injured (so what else is new?) it was still really fun and i was glad that tracy and ian came to play with us. cause new peeps are always good.

today i have a paper due! yes a paper. not much of a paper since it’s restricted to being 3 pages in length. but still a paper. i wrote it last night between 10 and 11. it is incredibly shitty. i am so disappointed in myself. kristen just reviewed it for me and thinks it’s good irregardless of the fact that it presents a point different from what gene says. that’s amazing. i am a golden god!

in this class on computer ergonomics earlier this week i learned that one of the ways of preventing carpal tunnel and tendonitis is to practice using the mouse with your less dominant hand. a fascinating idea that i really have yet to put into practice. mostly probably because i already have tendonitis and seem to feel it is a lost cause.

i’m doing the AidsWalk on Sunday and if you would like to sponsor me you still have a chance to do so. Click on this and it will take you to my webpage where you can use a credit card to make a donation.

low fat cottage cheese sucks ass.

On the 4th of July, President Bush spent his time in a devotional service in Ripley, West Virginia where Rev Jack Miller of West Ripley Baptist Church gave a sermon in which he stated,

“There is no American race; there’s only an American creed…We have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your word in the name of multiculturalism. We have been forced into sexual devience in the name of freedom of expression. We have exploited the system of education in the name of the lottery. We have toyed with the idea of helping human life in the name of medical research. We have killed our unborn children in the name of choice.”

It boggles the mind.

They also said the pledge of allegiance and shouted out with one voice, “under God!” in defiance of the issue in courts.