Teuret’s Syndrome

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Categories: General

So I don�t really have anything to say her I am just striving to look busy so I can get a good sneak peek at Erica�s date, Turell. (no idea how that�s really spelled and I will refrain from telling you my nickname for him��Teuret�s syndrome. Although to his credit he seemed very nice when he did finally get to the door. Which took a while, probably too busy yelling obsenities at passing cars. Wow I am totally going to get sooo much fucking shit for this. He seemed nice. Yey Erica, you go on that date. J I�m happy for you. No no really. Fucking ay. All I get is the freak at DVD depot asking me if I�m single. So unfair. Ok People so basically all I did in my fit of productivity here was update the movie reviews page. Which still needs some work, I admit it. And also it�s funny how long the first review is and then how they taper off into one word exclamations of �Good!� �Sweet!� (and speaking of sweet damn dood do I ever need to own that movie.) Umm and also I really need to work perhaps on being a little more analytical, which would I think require me actually writing about them as soon as I had seen them and doing some research and getting back into the mindset of a critic, a habit which I have lost in all these intervening months from school to now. So in order to appease you people into believing that I really could go to film theory grad school (kim. J) I�m going to upload my paper about john woo films on that page for reading pleasure. Any day now I swear. And I�m still trying to fix the �Jerry� link down in 5/29/02. YEY!! He�s fixed! (spayed and neutered all thanks to Jacob.) So go visit him. Here he is again, if you are too lazy to go down and find him again. jerry! jerry!

No longer is my hair purple. Already it is gone. Faded like flower petals on the wind. Sigh. But now it is a pretty auburn color for my interview tomorrow at the pacific film archive and art museum store. Fingers crossed everybody. Please.


Anderson love

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Categories: General

A dear boy named Anderson sent me a very odd letter in the mail the other day. If you wish to view his convoluted musings and my reply to suchamuch please go here:

spermwhale secrets


I wasn�t admittedly supposed to tell anyone about this, as you can see from the aforementioned anderson�s recent emailing:

i am the man in the pants

I hope that you don’t get too excited about the plan I sent you. It is for your eyes only. Remember, I was the inventor! So, keep it a secret until my patent license comes through. I don’t need any infringement. So, on that beautiful note, goodbye.


Ah Anderson. When will you ever learn not to trust me? Hugs and blowing kisses, Spermy.



p.s. when you go to spermwhale secrets make sure to go to the second page and then all the way over to the bottom right hand corner to see my reply to anderson�s mail.


by the sea! wish i could be…

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Categories: General

so my mom gave me a flyer for the annual nordstrom sale which starts next week and i said,

“dood i can’t go to this. i don’t have any money.”

“me neither,” my mom sighed.

“shit,” i said. “i want to go.”

“me too.”

“i’m gonna go.”

“me too.”

“i can’t move to san diego.”

“huh?” (this sudden change of topic thru my mother off a bit)

“i don’t have any money. i can’t move.”

for all of you who really really cared. i am not moving to San Diego. Marina promises to eventually forgive me. (who knows how long that will take. grin.) the inevitibility of me going to a nordies sale has convinced me, at last, of the sheer emptiness of my pocket book. i do not know what i do with all my money. it’s amazing though how i have none of it. perhaps next time it’s NYE i should make a resolution to keep better track of my expenses. but then again maybe by next NYE i’ll be living in a cardboard box on the street. ha ha. just kidding. i’m going to be living at home for the year. attempting the possibly impossible goal of saving 10,000 dollars and being able to pay for at least part of grad school next next fall.

in other news. i cut all my hair off. there’s bangs. holy christ is there ever. jumping basket of lizards.

ar ar ar. cementhorizon. ar ar ar.



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Categories: General

good lord. i am so shitty at updating this. but at least i admit my faults. wholeheartedly. hoo boy.

so this last weekend i went to San Diego. ah SD. fascinating land. i got lost SO MANY TIMES. it got kind of absurd. any faith in my directional abilities erica lost about 5 minutes after we arrived and promptly drove down the same street back and forth like 3 times before giving in and calling jenny for directions. well whatever. so i suck.

we went to the wild animal park. whoo! so much fun. big and sprawly and sleeping big kitties in the shade and so many babies. everywhere babies. monkeys and emus and antelopes. and a boy with the worst fake accent from escondido ever. brill i tell you. i floss my teeth with it, it’s so shiny. mint penny! mmmmmmmm……

and we met up with my brother, anthony, jeremy, and jeff and some boy named gub. ver odd name that. though no jigger. at joe’s crab shack no less. where jeff got a shirt which said, “my honors student got crabs.” proudly emblazoned on his back now. and they were all drunk and fun and silly and then we left them to go see sarah g and her new boyfriend who couldn’t be any fucking cuter if they tried. oh sweet jesus. hmm i gave her this webpage perhaps she will come and read it one of these days. and know how much in love with how much in love she is we are. ah poor grammar. i had a drink with blue cur-rac-a-rorooorwwwwoowowoow. tasty. and i am now a firm devotee of flautas. a thing which i had never had before. and which really weren’t even mine. so hey thanks jenny. 🙂 and lastly on friday night erica and i went to chris’ house and partied with my bro and peeps. which was equally fun except for the skank which is angela and how she was trying to have sex with all my boys. bitch. back down! i could’ve pushed her over the second floor balcony i suppose.

sunday was beach day. there’s always one in SD. and i did all my purple hair in little braids and people watched and and read “showdown at the bar none or ranch or whatever it is.” from that nickelodeon show “hey dude.” ha! i used to watch that. memory lane, man. memory lane. strolling. whistling. kicking and screaming perhaps.

now back at work i pity myself. and semi look forward to the trip this weekend in which i am going to seattle for the memorial ashes scattering event.

well popples. i better get back to working. before i get in trouble AGAIN.

p.s. go see �Jerry�

p.p.s. all right! He’s working! Go see him..if you dareeee.. (suck my cock.)

p.p.p.s. totally not working. bah. lame.


shit monkeys!

Categories: General

I just finally managed to get this working. I cannot even tell you how happy I am just now. And of course obviously most of it is thanks to Jacob who was like, �This, type in your name there. Ok press enter.� And then it was all done and it was so much easier than I thought it would be and whoopee is basically what I am saying here. And now I will just have to work on continuing to update it. Smile. Something which I�m sure will be soooooo (sarcastically) difficult. Although with the new work mandates against typing too much (shit that email is still pissing me off. Stupid anal bosses. Whatever.) Ok anyway I don�t really have time to be typing right now cause Gene is supposed to be calling and I want to go to bed soon cause whoo boy am I ever sleepy. So maybe tomorrow I will upload some more. Nighty night.

Misc Dates which I don�t remember now. 😉

Yey look at me actually making an attempt to put together this web page. Unfort. I still don�t know how to upload it to the Internet but I�m working on it. Oh yes. Yes I am.

I came so close just there! I almost had it! Goddamm bastard of a web page! Shit monkeys!

Man, I wish I had a butterfinger just about now. Now would be a pretty fucking sweet time for a butterfinger. Nuts to me though obviously. Cause there is no butterfinger in sight. And the piddling little 12 cents clinking around in my big ass wallet is not going to get me very far. Nope, not very far at all.

So I�m reading this book that Jason loaned me from a writer in his support group. (yes, the man needs support. And lots of it. Where�s the love people? Say, ���HIIIII JA-SON.� Ahhhh jokes at the expense of recovering alcoholics. It�s not very humane of me I must say.) So this book, The Fire Queen, good god is it ever hideously bad. And though she claims it is no romance novel it is seriously a romance novel. Any book that can incorporate a flame haired maiden who can ambidextrously use both hands to fling spears into people�s necks and a clan king of Ireland with few friends, lots of enemies (including his jealous uncle), and an anger-management problem�has got to be a romance novel. If you see what I�m saying. Throw in a bit of light rape and heavy gore, blood, and violence. And I think this woman has covered all her bases. Not in a particularly pleasant manner, mind you. But covered all the same.

Speaking of bases. We need more people to come and play baseball with us. If you�re reading this and you live in the bay area you should come! Suspicious frown. Unless I don�t know you. In which case 1)don�t come. And 2) stop reading this. I don�t know you and it logically follows that therefore I do not like you. Nuts to you now, I think. Nuts to you.

And speaking of nuts. Watch out for them on Panther beach. Especially the ones that look as if they have elephantitus and are grossly sunburned and actually bigger than the man�s penis. The little itty bitty penis under the big fat paunch that haunted us wherever we went on the beach. Blech. Remind me again why I would ever want to have one of those touch me. Ah never mind�.I can imagine it all by myself.

And now that I have covered all my own bases, including home, I do believe it�s time to say adieu for now. 😛

Well here it is, the day to end all days. WEDNESDAY. So you might be thinking, what�s the big deal with Wednesday? It�s not that exciting. And that�s where you would be wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Oh so wrong. Today is the bestest day. The day when I get to see Star Wars at a midnite sneak preview. Hell yeah! Oh shit I am so excited. It�s difficult to contain, soon I will probably be piddling like a puppy in the throes of meeting someone for the first time. Ah what a lovely image. Michele squatting and peeing on the sidewalk while trying at the same to wag her tail somewhat frantically.

Nuala has the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge which was playing in the car this morning. Which 1)makes me want the soundtrack myself and 2)makes me want to see Moulin Rouge again. It�s been a long ass time since I saw that movie. Good stuff is that Ewan Mcgregor. As to myself I am currently listening to the Hedwig soundtrack. Which is pretty fucking sweet in it�s own right. �The Origin of Love� for example is an awesome song.

I went to Sam�s Club yesterday. Big mistake. Spent entirely too much money. Bought absurd amounts of things which is the only thing you can do there. Sigh. Oh which one thing was a WHOLE BOX of butterfingers. Nuts to me no longer. Fat ass to me sure, sure, but no more nuts. Well�weird peanut stuff that�s inside of butterfingers. But nothing I can�t handle.

Expect the unexpected. Cause nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. And tomorrow I will bring a Star Wars review to you. Clones, attack! Good boy.

Hoo boy. Those attacking clones are one fun barrel of monkeys. Go to �ooishi� to read my review of it.

Well here it is Friday. Beautiful sunny glorious Friday and soon it will be time to go home and enjoy my weekend. Soon. If it ever even gets beyond 10am. It seems like I�ve been here for like 4 hours now and it�s only fucking 9:30. This is very depressing. I am not at all pleased just so we�re all clear. And no one is writing me email which also is with the bugging cause there is absolutely no reason for me to be straining myself working, since there is no boss here or ho beast and even I am sitting over in Purchasing for a while cause they are all at a meeting and I am therefore guarding against people coming to ask questions. But nobody is coming. Hence, making my job pointless. Consequently making me feel pointless. Perhaps I should sharpen some points on myself. I could go find a pencil sharpener�..

No word from the physics people yet. Maybe I WILL move to San Diego.

Perhaps I should go play java noid. Or my new fave rave: bounce out. Ah shitty shitty computer games that are free to play and free to get you fired for the playing of.


The Sum Of All Fears


Categories: Movie Reviews

They honest to god blew up Baltimore�s football stadium with a fucking nuclear bomb in this movie. I was terrified. Other than that there isn�t much to say about this movie. Oh well there was one character named Clark, played by Liev Schreiber who had most of the good lines in the movie and was an assassin/reconnoitering spy for the US. Sadly he wasn�t in much of the movie. And I liked Morgan Freeman but of course he had to die in the nuclear bomb explosion. Ben Affleck is still a cutie patootie but I don�t know how much that says about his acting abilities. (hee. To be honest, he wasn�t bad.) And lastly this movie was verrrrra long. And I had already seen 2 movies in the theatre prior to this one so I was getting a little tired.

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