Categotry Archives: General


A Paw-full of Honey

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Last weekend I went to a party at Adam and Christine’s where many things were discussed. The Little Rooster. Snorks that live in Gene’s urine. But perhaps my favorite was when Kris and I somehow came to the conclusion that if we only had a contraption of floating bees you could wear–like a neck-mobile–and we put it on Jon and a jar in his hand he could be Winnie-the-Pooh and get his paw stuck in the honey.

Oh, I remember how this came about now. Gene told us that Jon had bought 10 gallons of honey to make mead and I pictured him just eating 10 gallons of honey by the paw-full. Possibly swimming in it like Pooh does in the new movie. The point is that I’m going to make him (and mostly me for my own delight) a bee neck-mobile.

But on with my story which really occurred last night.

Yesterday I drove with my mom up to Salem to my Aunt Mary’s house. I forgot my toothbrush at home but Mary said I could have one of the ones the dentist foisted on her. So we got to her house and she offered me my choice of two toothbrushes. One just an ordinary guy–blue and clear plastic. The other! A Winnie-the-Pooh toothbrush with a bee hive and bees and Pooh on it!

“Jon!” I cried, “How did you get here so tiny and cute?”

Oh adorable toothbrush, you have reinforced my need to see the man in a bee-mobile. Buzzzzzzzzzz.


Life…or something like it.


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In line with my new stage of Pathetic Living, I spent Friday and Saturday nights this week on the couch voraciously clicking my way through episodes of a recently discovered TV show. This show, which I feel you all really need to learn about, is titled “Dance Academy”. To be clear it is made for tweens. Not even teenagers, tweens.

Ok, maybe it’s made for teens too.

It’s about some 15-17 year old dancers in Australia. I’d say five main ones and then some others. Maybe Ethan counts as a main one too since he is in the opening credits. Whatever. They all get in to the National Dance Academy and move into the boarding house, take lessons, fall in love, are ridiculous, etc. The first season is 26 episodes and they’re 24 minutes long. I watched all of them in two days. It took so long because I also had to make a lot of cupcakes and cheesecakes for a baby shower (new niece) and attend the baby shower (for 4 hours). Am I trying to say it was hard to be away from the show for that 4 hours? Yes. Yes, I am.

I very quickly fell in love with Christian (because he’s the troubled hot one at the Academy on bail for robbing a server station). I feel only marginally disgusted with myself for lusting after a 16 year old. Oh thank god. He was born in 1992. Never mind. He was totally legal during filming.


I can’t help myself.

Anyway as I became deeply invested in this truly terrible show, I sent a barrage of emails to Kris to make sure someone knew I was going off the deep end.

I discover the show:

a teen dancers tv show?!?!

Netflix page

will it be terrible? will it be wonderful? it will def be australian. i am watching it!

I start watching:

sheeps! baby kangaroo! bitchy girl! sassy blond!

It continues:

On episode 7. I’m learning some valuable Australian life lessons and I hardly even mind the voice-over.

Also, I’m in love with Christian. Obviously. Tamahome!

I’m starting to unravel:

now on episode 22. have taken to yelling at the screen COPIOUSLY. also just re-watched ep 20 around the 17 minute mark. oh shirtless christian…. might watch it again. my happiness over that didn’t even last an episode. goddamn this girl.

there’s only 5 episodes left! what will i do when it’s over?!?!

how has dance academy become my life? seriously, how?

The final line above also becomes my FaceBook status update.

Subject line of this one–“omg. who am i?”:

i honestly just called (well, yelled. and using outdoor voice no less) the main character (who, mind you, is a 16 year old girl) a “fucking whore slut bitch.”


*hangs head in shame*

And then this happened:

boys kissing dance academy.jpg

Oh holy shit. It happened.

The “my life is over” email:

i’ve run out of episodes and season 2 isn’t available yet!!! I NEED SOME DISTANCE FROM THIS SHOW.

Season 2 doesn’t start airing until January but I just found and watched a trailer for it and…it kind of looks amazing. DAMN THIS SHOW. DAMN IT TO HELL.


The main girl’s real name is Xenia which is also the name I used in a baby shower contest for my new niece. Erin liked it. How awesome would it be if my new niece was NAMED AFTER AN ACTRESS FROM DANCE ACADEMY? You know it would be incredible. You know it.



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On Saturday I went to San Francisco to see the new touring show of Cirque du Soleil–Totem.

On the whole, I was not super impressed with this show. Admittedly, I was also on a lot of Sudafed for my cold. But it just seemed, for the most part, like tricks I’d seen in previous shows and in several of the acts as if they weren’t even challenging themselves. For example, the very last act was a bunch of men and some flexible bouncy beams. Two men would hold a beam, a third smaller, slighter man/boy (I swear one was maybe 15) would bounce on the beam and do mid-air somersaults and then land on it again. All of this was done without a net or a harness line. Some of it was incredibly dangerous, yes. But it was also short and only one of the acrobats actually did amazing things. The 15 year old one was totally novice. I was like, really?

The story of this show seemed to be kind of aboriginal/evolution. There was a guy who was sort of an anthropologist/Darwin who wove in and out watching the acts which were primarily made up of lizard people, apes, and indigenous persons (observation based entirely on my understanding of their costumes). But then there were some random elements. A disco ball person? Some super sparkly girls doing juggling with square shaped clothes they spun on their fingers and toes? They had no relevance to the storyline and thus seemed terribly out of place. Though, man those sparkly costumes were awesome.

My favorite act in the first half was the five Chinese(?) girls on unicycles. 1) Their costumes were most excellent–weird little skirts made out of leaves and/or feathers, tattooed bodysuits, a lot of glitter, and amazing face make-up designs which I had a great view of being in the third row. 2) Those bikes were HIGH and they were flipping bowls onto their own heads and each others while riding the bike with one foot. It was impressive. Though it did not, admittedly, really fit into the aboriginal theme either. Whatever. Maybe they were supposed to be some kind of animals…

Monocycles_d_auclair_Cirque du Soleil_1.jpg

My favorite act of all was definitely the yellow-clad couple in the second half who played on the trapeze. I’m relatively sure they were supposed to be portraying love-birds–in this case: actual birds. Their act was a lyrical ballet and it was seriously incredible the things they did on the trapeze bar thing. But everything was smooth and flowed from one trick to another. They moved their bodies very gracefully and had absolute trust in one another to be where they needed to be in each moment. I could have just watched them play on the trapeze for two hours. That would have been fine. It didn’t hurt that the male half of the duo was quite possibly the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. At the end of the show there was this dance number they all did and he was directly in front of me on the left side of the stage (and remember I was in the third row so this was a close-up). Holy Sweet Baby Jesus. His face is just stunning. And part of the dance was distinctly Bollywood in flavor so he repeatedly did this shoulder roll thing that was positively designed to make the female and gay members of the audience salivate.


So, I guess what I’m saying is this show was pretty good but maybe not worth $100. Plus $30 in parking (RIDICULOUS). But if you can find some video or better pictures of love-bird-man, I heartily recommend it.


Sad, Sick Michele

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I’ve been sick and in moderate to severe amounts of pain for over a month now. I even went to the doctor–which, let me tell you is a big move for me. I hate the doctor. And I’ve now been to 3 different doctors 5 separate times and still have 1 more to go to next week. For a while I was convinced I had something fatal (as i have an over-active imagination and was really in a lot of pain). But the doctor now thinks I have diverticulitis (which, admittedly, CAN be fatal. But generally only if it ruptures. Which hasn’t happened.) And now I’m on two types of antibiotics and will then theoretically be better. Except I just read a website which says diverticulitis is recurring. Soooo, that’s upsetting.

The doctor is testing me for all sorts of things now too in order to find out what caused the diverticulitis. Since it can be caused by different things. Or really it can be caused by nothing other than stress and developed nation’s food. But some common causes are food allergies, intestinal parasites, and, apparently, gall stones (I’m not sure how that last one fits in).

Anyway, that’s where I’ve been the last month. Lying on my couch in pain with heating pads and taking up to 9 Advil a day. I read a lot of books (46) and watched a lot of TV in September (4 seasons of Psych, 3 seasons of Roswell). I skipped a lot of social gatherings (though I did make Katy’s wedding and my brother’s birthday. I was a severe lack of fun at both of these events. Particularly the birthday one since my period had started that day too and I was torn between crying and screaming the whole evening.) Fingers crossed this antibiotic regimen does the trick and I am back to Fun, Healthy Michele soon.


Yes, these are all children’s books.

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Today was the first day of the 2011 SF Public Library Big Book Sale. Only the first day and I only managed to buy 20 books (for $22).


I’ve already read two of them and am almost done with a third. I need to buy a lot more on Sunday (when everything is a dollar!) The ones I’ve read are all Ramona books by Beverley Cleary which I am super enjoying. They’re so pleasant and heart-warming. Which is about all I can deal with right now. G-rated things or things I’ve already read. I’ve re-read 16 books in the last week. And watched 4 seasons of Psych the week before that.

These are actually not all children’s books. A whole two are adult books, no joke. But one is a Diego book with a talking pen. I admit it. It’s for Evan.


Friends, old and new.

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At the last game night at Jacob and Lisa’s (10 days ago), I had this whole argument with Tami and Aaron beforehand in their bedroom. Where I was lying on the bed, Tami was bra-less and Aaron had man-stink. Let me explain because it’s not as dirty as you might think. Except for Aaron who was as dirty as you’re thinking.

After my internship ended for the day at 4pm, I was hanging out in Berkeley with nothing to do till 5:30 when I could go bug Lisa at pre-Game Night. But I got bored and so I went to Tami’s and knocked on the door till she opened it in pajamas and bullied my way in. Then we lay around on her bed chatting till Aaron got home (smelly) and he showered and then we went to play games. But first we argued about how I was competitive. With me saying I’m much less competitive now than I used to be and Aaron snorting with laughter at my protestations. Tami hid a smile and remained silent.

And they were proved right a few hours later when Tami thwarted me in the Blue Moon City game for the 3rd time in a row and I called her a “ho” with heat. Sigh. Competitive and truculent. I really need to work on these things.

Later, Tami got me back by calling me a ‘whore’ for no good reason. I mean, maybe there was a reason? I can’t even actually remember where we were when she called me that. It was either at Jon’s Burning Man party or at Fondue night. I do remember laughing very hard because it was kind of incongruous coming out of her mouth. Much like that time Kris and I were drunk on the back of Baby Albee yelling out “bird” to Adam on the second deck and she yelled out “bug!” Hilarious.

Also at the Burning Man party, showing off my whoredom (which I’m not), I pointed out all the people I knew to Christine who had demanded as “an old married lady” to know “all the gossip about us single people”. And I knew a surprising amount of people at this party really. And gossip about them. But then she got upset and claimed that it’s weird me knowing all these people she doesn’t know and she doesn’t like it. Not like she’s actually against it but she was more like, “When did this happen?” This came about because I was talking to Tim and Ally for a while and she came up to stand by me so I introduced them but then the whole conversation was about me complimenting Ally’s new haircut and Tim berating me for not noticing he shaved off his goatee and the last movie the three of us saw together and the movie Tim’s making. So we went back to our table and friends and Christine was all accusingly, “You’re friends with them!” And I don’t know if that’s really true especially since I don’t know if she spells it Ally or Allie but I guess maybe we’re friends? I think we are. And it is weird. I mean, this weekend, I kicked Rob in the thigh until he said ‘hi’ to Tim for me over the phone and then Ally said ‘hi’ to me thru Tim thru Rob. And then I chortled gleefully and possibly kicked Rob in the thigh again for fun. And you know what, that is weird. Or normal? I don’t know. I know I like it.

But just last night Jason too was like, “Where have all these new people come from? All of a sudden there’s these people. I don’t like it.” But it’s not like it happened overnight. It’s been a year since we started hanging out with all of them. But I guess it’s been 21, 14, and 10 years for most of the rest of us. Our last new person was possibly Lisa, right? In 2007. It’s probably time for some new friends. And they are fun. What with all the calling me a whore and letting me kick them. Good times.

Friends, old and new.

More pictures from the Burning Man party (and also Int’l Highland Games Fest) here.

Oh wow, it’s Ale. Which is totally different than both Ally and Allie. Maybe we’re not friends.


Shadowrun that is mostly about how funny Adam is

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In the final Shadowrun game that Gene hosted he tried to kill all of us and I got drunk and found pretty much everything Adam said to be hilarious. The next day, when I also got drunk, Adam was eying me askance and Rob called me blotto two days after that. Do I have a drinking problem? I haven’t drunk since then. Except, you know, water. And lemonade. Oh, and fascinating coconut water flavored with berries by my fave fruit bar manufacturer, SunRype. Gah, I love them. I love them a little too much lately though because that’s a lot of fiber. Drum cymbal noise. And on that note.

This final game was game day in the game. Game game game. The dogs were racing and a lot of stuff was happening.Mostly concession snack eating. Mostly.

Jacob tried to remind us that it wasn’t all about cotton candy.

Yacob: I do not want five years from now to be killed by a bookie. Now is the time for the serious time. One must make executive decision in this trying time, yes?

This is due to the fact that there’s an unconscious man in the back of his truck who has seen some of our faces and we’re trying to decide what to do about him. Yacob’s solution is clear. The method is unclear.

Emmy: Do you not have a silencer?

Yacob (winking outrageously): No. I make LOUD bang.

Ridge has a knife. Yacob has upholstery fears.

Yacob: Scott! We have knife but no bucket! You break neck.

Eventually the security guard is dead. It’s amazing how long it took to happen though. If I had been there…

End of that scene:

Yacob: I go, I suppose, loiter.

Smoky: Loiter….Murder….Eh.

Scott: We’re an all or nothing crew.

So then we’re still kind of waiting for shit to happen, right? Actually, I guess some of us are in a firefight at the bookie building. But Scott and Ridge are just hanging out.

Scott to Ridge: You wanna go get a hot dog or a fro-yo or something? I like that I’m in a tux and eating a corn dog.

Then Yacob and Alfred are both shot. But heaven forbid some mustard gets on the suit. Roll for stains.

I’m not sure how this was going to come in handy, but…

Scott: I have Matrix theory.

Emmy: Matrix fury?

Scott: That would be better. Matrix fury. In theory.

Emmy: (laughing hysterically. Hey. Drunk, here.)

Oh, it might have had to do with the computer hacking plan. Or the sniper on the roof circumnavigating the surveillance cameras plan. Anyway, in theory, he should have also known what eating eight corn dogs would do.

Scott: I am vomiting up corn dogs in the corner.

But in theory doesn’t apply to Scott’s relationship with food. I’m pretty sure I am narrowly escaping death at this point from a stupid magician who spelled me.

Scott: Every so often, I reach up and pick a piece of funnel cake and eat it. Brush off the powder sugar. Wouldn’t want to dirty my suit. It’s a hard life.

I’m unconscious. Gene is checking what the players are doing.

GM: You’re at serious (Emmy). You’re at medium (Alfred and Yacob). Everyone else is fine, right?

Scott: I feel a little bloated from the corn dogs.

GM: Roll for bloat.

This stupid magician falling from the sky (jumped out of a plane) is bugging everyone. Yacob has a plan to shoot him but is waiting for him to come into range while I’m unconscious and Ridge is on fire. Possibly Alfred is also unconscious.

Scott: You’re going to be so upset when he turns out to be Bob Hope.

Yes, we really are.

At the end, Yacob did shoot the magician. We all survived. We protected the one dog from the magician. And we fixed the race (in (matrix) theory. At least we got the hacker in and out). But we didn’t re-kidnap the pretty dog for the lady who hired us. And it was midnight. So we gave up.

Yacob: We can crush a woman’s hope and dreams.

The End.

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